Your Epidermis is Showing!
(Part 2)
"Ten minutes until we leave for church, everyone!" Emma Jones heard the voice of her dad down the hallway from her bedroom. She heaved a sigh as she held up a skirt to the mirror. It was her favorite blue skirt, but she had not worn it since last summer. She had been delighted to find it in the back of the closet that morning, but disappointed when she tried it on.
Emma had grown several inches taller since she had last worn the skirt, making the skirt several inches above her knee. Standing up, it still appeared to be modest, but sitting down, she knew that it showed too much.
Still, she fought with the idea of not wearing it. Short skirts were in style, and this one was particularly flattering. Besides, she would be seeing Nathan Davis at church. His family had recently joined Emma's church, and ever since he came the girls had been flocking around him. Every time Emma was around the group, she felt painfully "un-cool."
Staring into the mirror, Emma asked herself aloud, "Why not?"
____________
As I hope I established in my last post, immodesty is rampant among young women of the world. This is not unexpected. After all, John 15:19 clearly states that the world hates things of God, and will act contrary to His teachings: "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated Me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you."
Unfortunately, many Christians have chosen to be like the rest of the world in their opinions on modesty. I remember when a professing Christian woman said, upon being confronted concerning her and her daughter's clothing choices, "We just don't do the modesty thing." But as young ladies who are daughters of the Most High King, we have been called to something greater than the world. We have been called to be set apart as the pure and blameless Bride of Christ. We are called "to dress modestly, with decency and propriety." (1 Timothy 2:9) We have been called to "do the modesty thing."
Some argue that modesty is a prudish behavior adopted only by legalistic Christians and conflicts with the liberty found in Christ. But Christian liberty is clearly not a viable excuse for leading others into temptation. As it says in 1 Corinthians 8:9, "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak."
Dressing provocatively does just what the word suggests--it provokes sexual temptation and lust. For Christian men who are dedicated to pleasing Christ, immodest clothing is an assault on the eyes. Although it is the responsibility of Christian men to guard their eyes from temptation, we, as Christian ladies should not make it difficult for them. If we love our brothers in Christ the way that Philippians tells us to love, doing nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, and looking not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:3,4) then would we dress immodestly? Would we dress in a way that might lead our brothers in Christ into temptation, and in lure them to draw away from Christ? If our goal is to please Christ, we should dress in a way that is considerate of others, even at the expense of being in style.
You may have wondered what Emma Jones chose to wear to church, but I am not sure. You see, Emma Jones is not only a made-up character. She is every one of us, faced with the choice of what to wear. We can each shrug off the decision as "what everyone is doing" or we can choose to honor our Savior with quiet obedience.
The choice is yours.
Labels: modesty
posted by Hannah at
4:51 AM
26 Comments:
Convicting last paragraph Hannah!
Great post, Hannah! Modesty is a conscious choice. It does not come accidentally anymore!
Dressing provocatively does just what the word suggests--it provokes sexual temptation and lust. For Christian men who are dedicated to pleasing Christ, immodest clothing can be an assault on the eyes.
are you kidding me? do you really think that all young men thinkk about is sex? further, WHY should women be embarrassed of their body, their skin and HIDE who they are? "an assault" - are you KIDDING ME?! Men should not act on their hormones, and to say it is the woman's fault for not dressing modestly is completely chauvinistic.
A woman should be proud of her body, proud of who she is, and NOT feel the need to hide behind layers nad layers of clothing.
Well done.I've just posted on my blogspot about modesty too. I will be very blessed if my 2 little girls grow up with such convictions as yours.
God Bless You,
Claire
Kate, she didn't say that all guys think about is sex. Hannah said that dressing in a provacative or sensual fashion provokes lust in a guy.
Hannah also didn't say to be ashamed of your body. But the outside of a person is what we focus on way to much, and dressing in an immodest manner helps that a great deal.
Would you rather have a guy talk to you because he is full of lust, or because he is genuinely interested in you as a person? Anyone in their right mind would rather have a genuine converstaion.
Yes, men should have control of themselves. But it works both ways, give us a helping hand here by not promoting your body, but rather your heart and mind.
Hannah also didn't say you had to dress like an eskimo all the time, under layers and layers of clothing.
a woman should wear whatever clothes she wants. AND treat her body like a body, not some object of lust. Men need to stop thinking in inappropriate ways, but women should not be made to hide who they are.
Why do we not discuss men and the clothing they wear?
Hello Kate!
Thanks for commenting. I can see that you have been thoughtfully considering this subject.
This reminds me of the issue in 1 Corinthians that Paul addressed. Many Jews who had turned to Christ were still having a hard time accepting the fact that now that they were free in Christ, they no longer had to follow the Jewish dietary laws (i.e. prohibiting the eating of pork, etc.) Paul said to the Gentile Christians that if eating certain meat was causing the Jewish Christians to stumble in their faith, then the Gentile Christians should give up eating meat. The issue was not the meat, but that the Gentile Christians were causing their brethren to stumble. All Christians were allowed to eat meat, but in order to love the Jewish Christians, many Christians gave up this freedom. Paul wrote, "And so, by sinning against the brethren and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause my brother to stumble." (1 Cor. 8:12-13)
Yes, you have a body. It was not made to be a lust object, but it can become one. Wearing immodest clothing can make one vulnerable to being lusted after. It is a man's job to guard his eyes, but we are not entirely innocent victims of lust if we tempt the lust to take place. For instance, if you dared someone to shoplift, and they shoplifted, they would be at fault for committing the crime. There would be no excuse for their behavior. However, you are a not-so-innocent-bystander, partially to blame for the crime taking place. Another verse in 1 Corinthians says regarding the body: "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
Oh, and Kate, I forgot to mention this: There is "Letter from Committed Christian Guys" posted on Fearlessly Feminine that I highly suggest reading. It was an eye-opener for me when I first read it.
For instance, if you dared someone to shoplift, and they shoplifted, they would be at fault for committing the crime. There would be no excuse for their behavior.
Right - but wearing less clothing is NOT a crime!?! Shoplifting IS a crime. Being a woman who's body is little control of her own is NOT a criminal act. Nor an action she took on her own. There is NO HARM in wearing normal, comfortable clothing. Or really, just choosing to wear whatever clothes a woman wants to wear.
Again, you failed to address the type of clothing men should wear.
And it is not a woman's fault...NOR should it be accepted reality, that simply because a woman wears a tank top that shows her arms...or shorts that show her legs, that a MAN should be "lusting" after her. that is a societal problem that men need to address.
As far as your Bible verses...I believe the Bible says to not be ashamed of thy body.
Kate, you made a couple of bold statements and I'd like to highlight two of them:
A woman should be proud of her body, proud of who she is, and NOT feel the need to hide behind layers nad layers of clothing.
and
a woman should wear whatever clothes she wants. AND treat her body like a body, not some object of lust. Men need to stop thinking in inappropriate ways, but women should not be made to hide who they are.
Could you please defend your statements Biblically?
i don't even know what you mean "defend them biblically"?
i can defend them because i am a female young adult. there is nothing wrong with my body. there is nothing wrong with my skin showing. there is nothing wrong with the clothing i choose to wear, no matter how short or how long a skirt is, or how tight or how loose my shirt is. the point is, i DO NOT have to be ashamed, embarrassed, or critical of my body or my body image.
I think that what Kristin meant by "defend" your thoughts Biblically is that if you are a believer (a follower of Christ), please tell the readers where in the Bible it says that as believers we can show off what we have? It looked like Hannah Beth gave some verses that were pretty clear, so I think they are asking you to "defend" your arguement using the Bible.
If the Bible and our lives don't line up, then it is our lives that need to change.
This is all on the assumption that you are a believer and that your belief affects the way you live out your life. If you are not a believer, I have a feeling from the things I have read on this blog that you can email them and talk to one of them about it.
Yes, I am a "believer" - if by "believer" you mean I believe in God, and Jesus, and that Jesus died for our sins.
I, however, do not feel the need to subscribe to the literal written word of the Bible - which was written primarily by men living in a chauvinistic society where women were not liberated and did not face the same opportunities which we face today.
It is a time far far removed, where globablization, gender equality, and racial interactions have rendered much of the Bible outdated and inconsistent with realities of today.
I defend my arguments using the laws of the nation I live in, and the idea that all men and women are created equal. Not using Biblical verse that has no bearing on my life.
Kate,
It appears that we have reached a deadlock regarding modesty. You do not believe that modesty is important because you believe that the Bible is the errant word of men, written in a "chauvinistic society where women were not liberated." I, on the other hand, believe that modesty is imperative for women who profess godliness, as a result of my belief that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. My entire argument for modesty was based on the Bible, and if you do not accept my source, then you have no reason to accept my argument. We could begin the discussion on why/why not to believe in the inerrancy of the Bible, but instead I'll link to this article:"How Do We Know the Bible is True?"
Another thought I'd like to throw out here for consideration is, "As Christians how do we apply Romans 12:2 to real life?" Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." As Christians, we are told in the Bible not to be conformed to the world's standards, but to God's. I understand that you do not believe the Bible to be true, but which would you rather take as the final authority over your life: Our shifting and corrupt society or a changeless God?
Interested in hearing your thoughts,
Hannah
The Bible was propoganda.
I do not believe that our society is corrupt. As I mentioned above, gender equality, globalization, and interaction of people of all faiths has proven that there are multiple "religious texts" that have valuable meaning. For instance, the Torah, the Koran, or the Book of Morman? Do you subscribe equally to the teachings of those religious texts? Why are they any different than your Bible.
My point is that people of Christian faith and beliefs will always differ in their interpretation of their religion and the way to practice. This is why there are so many varying sects of Christianity. Yours is no more right than any other.
But my original point - as I will restate again - is that as a woman, I will not be made to feel ashamed of my body, feel that i need to "hide" the shape of my body, or feel any sense of "guilt" based on the way my body looks. A woman should be judged by her value as a human being, and not what her body looks like....but by covering it up and pretending that there "is something" shameful that should be hidden, we are simply subscribing to a chauvinistic society.
There is nothing wrong with wearing whatever clothing a woman chooses. For some that might be a skirt or dress, others may choose blue jeans and a t-shirt. That is their "god-given right" and "freedom" in this nation.
That's what I believe in. Not some outdated scripted text from thousands of years ago.
You said the Bible was propaganda. Then, on what basis do you support the statement where you said,
Yes, I am a "believer" - if by "believer" you mean I believe in God, and Jesus, and that Jesus died for our sins.
i "support" that statement on the "basis" that I know what i believe, what i feel, and i regularly attend service and am comfortable about my relationship with God.
are you suggesting that i can't believe in God, and Jesus just because i don't believe the writings in the Bible? that, of course, is ridiculous.
Ok...
I normally don't talk about this kind of thing,
But in order to share a guy's perspective on this topic,
I will.
Guys respond to visual stimuli the most.
We like the way things look.
We like red cars,
Big mountains,
And sleek planes.
(That last one is mine)
The fastest way to get a guy’s attention is by giving him that visual stimuli.
The question here is,
What kind of attention do you want from guys.
Do you want him to look at you as an object?
(Like that sleek plane)
Or as a person?
If you want attention as an object,
Than go head and provide that visual image for him.
But don’t expect the attention that comes with being a person.
If you want to be treated as a human being,
(aka, with dignity)
You’re going to have to put a little more effort into getting that attention.
It will be a much slower process sense you will have to appeal to his higher brain.
Just as with a car.
Every guy wants that red corvette,
Because it looks cool.
But not every guy will look into safety ratings, fuel economy, and maintenance,
The things that matter for long term ownership.
My personal opinion…
I think young ladies should consider what exposing themselves visually does to a guy.
It causes our minds to stray from the straight and narrow.
That’s just how we’re wired.
I’m not saying it’s all the girl’s fault,
The guy has the responsibility to keep his mind pure.
But please…
Could please help us out a little?
I find your commentary absolutely offensive. My body is not a flashy car. I am a human being, thank you. Yet you state that you see women as "objects" first and foremost simply because of their physical appearance. Tell me? Do you look at men and think about their physical appearance too? Why is it different for a woman.
If you want attention as an object,
Than go head and provide that visual image for him.
But don’t expect the attention that comes with being a person.
"Provide that visual image" -- no, that's not what i'm doing when i get dressed and select my clothing for the day...what I am doing is selecting styles, and colors and comfortable attire to wear depending upon the weather, the events i will be attending that day, etc. For instance, if I am going to church services, I would dress very differently than if I were going to the beach with my friends, or if I were going to play tennis, or if I were going to the movies with my friends. Further, I woudl dress very differently depending on the weather outside and if it were hot or cold out. But i NEVER and SHOULD NOT start picking out my clothing because I am somehow ashamed/nervous/worried as to the fact that the young men i am surrounded by will view me as an "object."
First off, if that is the way you think, and how you see the young women around you and you judge them as objects simply because you can see skin on their arms or legs, then that is absolutely embarrasing and pathetic that you were taught to think that way. Second, how chauvinistic and accusatory for you to say that it is the "woman's fault" for observations and sentiments inside a man's head. Take some responsibility and realize that this IS NOT appropriate and it is society overall that should be changing its objectification of women....not forcing young women to feel as though they are always "on display."
The fact that I you are in the Air Force - I looked at your webpage - and that you are clearly inherently chauvinistic and judgmental of woman is very disturbing. The Air Force Academy has dealt with serious sexual harrassment allegations and lawsuits over the past few years and I hope that you are not learning in your current studies that the objectification of women is either (a) appropriate or (b) acceptable. Do you commanders, or senior officers/leaders know you sentiments towards women and that you see them as "objects?"
Hello--
I've been watching this conversation, and I wanted to just drop in an FYI:
Please keep the comment guidelines in mind, and keep all mean-spirited and ad hominem remarks out of this discussion.
If you would like to look at the comment guidelines for yourself, the link is listed beneath the "Around the blog" section on the sidebar.
Thank you.
Kate
If your car broke down in the middle of the highway and there was a mechanic nearby who was available to help fix it, but he just stood there and said no. All the while clinging to the tool box that would deliver you from dilemma. It would be pretty infuriating wouldn't it? After all, common decency says we are to help one another out when we are in need.
And worse, what if he said, "Look I think you oughta just "fix it" yourself. You women always rely on us men to do it for you. Tough love, baby. It's time you just learned it on your own."
That advice will do nothing for you at the moment. He's right. You should get the training, but what about the moment. You need help now.
That's what your doing when you sit there with the "tools" to keep a man from lust. You just sit there and say, learn to deal with it. In the long run, you're right. He needs to train his eyes. But can't we help him in the moment, until he has learned how?
Life's not just about us, Kate. It's about thinking of others more highly than ourselves. You say you follow Jesus. And I believe you. Jesus layed down his life so that you will be spared your sin. Is it so much to ask that you consider what you wear to keep a man from stumbling?
Greater love has no one than this, that they lay down their life for their friends.
Amazing. That a woman and mother feels its appropriate to encourage young women to feel ashamed and nervous about what their bodies look like. Amazing that you feel it is appropriate to allow and support and encourage the chauvinistic attitudes that say "its a woman's fault" when a man abuses or offends or harrasses her because of clothing she chooses to wear.
By the way, I am a christian, and I attend services, and in my church we do not judge the people by the clothing they wear, or treat them as an object - whether they are male or female. They are human beings, who are born into the bodies that God gave to them. They should learn to be proud and respectful of their bodies, and not ashamed as to how they might appear to other humans - regardless of their sex.
To continue to suggest that a woman is responsible for covering herself is actually offensive in many ways. Of course life is about thinking about others, and thinking about our fellow human beings...which is exactly why a woman should not be told that her body is "lustful" or "offensive" or "dangerous" A body is a body. That young men feel things based on how that body looks has to do with their own inherent beliefs and teachings....I believe that young men should be taught to respect the woman's body as much as they respect their own. That will solve these problems more than forcing young women to cover themselves.
Further, this is America. This is not Afghanistan where women were told to wear burkhas and cover every ounce of their skin. I find it really amazing that young women are being given these ideas that they are somehow at fault in the world for how they choose to dress.
By the way, in case you are all wondering...I do not dress in a manner which many consider "stylish." My clothing choices are typically based on (a) the event and location where i will goign that day, and (b) the weather outside. Currently, its been pretty hot, so I wear shorts or skirts usually about knee length, and either t-shirts, or short sleeve golf shirts. These things are comfortable to me. When I go to church, i usually wear a dress, or a nicer skirt and shirt. If i go to the beach, i wear a bathing suit. If I play tennis or soccer, i wear athletic shorts and a t-shirt. Sometimes if its cold, i will wear jeans or slacks. and in the winter, i wear lots and lots of sweaters.
There - that's pretty much the extent of my wardrobe. So I am not someone here advocating to dress in skimpy or tight clothing. I'm just saying, that if a woman wants to do that, she shouldn't be treated like an object or judged harshly for her actions. its basically none of anyone else's business. and certainly, its not a Christian thing to do to make a person feel badly about how they appear.
Those are my thoughts. I see that others don't agree, and that's fair, but i don't think we are going to reach common ground.
Kate,
You are answering statements I have not made. Where have I said my daughter should feel ashamed or nervous about her body? Where have I said that is was the "women's fault"? Where have I encouraged the idea that a man has the right to "offend", "abuse", or "harrass" a woman? Where have I said that her body is "dangerous"?
My point remains unanswered, does a Christian women have the responsibility to aid a brother who is seeking to remain pure and free of lustful thoughts? Does she have a responsibility to dress modestly (not in a burka) considering exactly where the eyes of others are attracted I say yes. You say, what?
By saying that it is " a christian woman's responsibility" for her "brother" to remain "pure" is essentially saying that a woman should be concerned about how her body is....what her body looks like....and that she should be RESPONSIBLE for covering it. There is some inherent acknowledgement that there is something SHAMEFUL about her body. Or dangerous, or lustful. A woman's body is not what CAUSES a young man to feel lustful thoughts.
By telling young girls they need to dress in ways that are covering themselves and hiding themselves that is the very same thing as saying "there is something wrong if you choose to show your body" -- that, to me, is completely chauvinistic.
You want to HELP a young brother? How about teaching him to respect women's bodies. How about teaching them that they should not judge a woman by her shape, size, or skin? How about instructing young men that women have worth and value for the person they are REGARDLESS of what their body looks like, or what kind of clothing they wear?
Tell me - do you instruct young men that they should dress modestly? Do you worry that the way a young man presents himself causes "lustful" thoughts in young women?
I say a woman should feel comfortable choosing the clothes that are comfortable to her and that she enjoys wearing. For whatever occasion. And clothing which make her proud of her body, proud of who she is, and NOT worrying about how men will judge her.
It is amazing to me that you find it appropriate to tell young women that their bodies are somehow dangerous to them and they should be covered up. I seriously cannot understand how you are advocating anything differently than certain nations in the middle east.
Kate,
You are a very thoughtful girl. Please reread what I wrote. By saying that a woman should "aid" her brother in purity and keep her body covered is NOT the same thing as saying there is something shameful or dangerous. Not in the least.
Do you walk out of your home unclothed. You do not. Are you ashamed? No, you're not. By covering yourself are you saying yoru body is "dangerous". Not at all.
So why am I being said it encourage "shame" in my daughter but yet you also cover your own body? Are you also chauvenistic because you cover yourself?
I am not telling anyone to dress a certain way. I'm just saying consider how your dress impacts others including the men who are around you.
Kate, I do instruct my boys to treat a young lady with respect. But who among us can walk perfectly? Just as I instruct my younger children not to walk in the street, I would hope that a car would stop in the event they wandered and not consider that it is ALL my child's responsiblity. Young men are not always going to walk perfectly. Especially when they first make the transition from boy to man. Their hormones are changing and so are their reactions to them. I hope that as a woman I dress in such a way that honors the Lord and RESPECTS them and helps keep them from wandering. Should a young man look away. Yes, and that is how we have trained our sons. Should a young lady tempt them to look her way. No. Both have a responsiblity to walk in a manner that honors the Lord. A man who looks at a woman lustfully is wrong. A woman who tempts a man to look at her is just as wrong.
You say a women should feel comfortable choosing clothes that are comfortable for her whatever the occassion. Chothing which makes her proud of her body. So be it. Then if a woman walks into a wedding in a bikini thong because that's what makes her feel comfortable and proud are we to just let it happen? She is comfortable but everyone else is squirming. You wouldn't dare judge her harshly would you? After all she's just expressing the beauty of her body.
You asked if I instruct my young men to dress modestly. Absolutely. However, it's not how a young man looks that typically tempts a women. They are much more attracted to words and touch. So not only do I train my boys to dress appropriately but also speak and behave appropriately.
What I am advocating is mutual respect. BOTH the man and the woman have a part to play in keeping the other pure.
You seem to believe a women can just wear whatever she wants as long as she is comfortable. But as I said before, life isn't just about you.
Thanks for the discussion Kate.
I'm sorry if you found my comment to be offensive.
I was merely pointing out how the stereotypical guy thinks.
Granted it may not be right,
But those are the facts.
I won't even attempt to figure out what girls think about these kind of issues,
Because I know y’all are wired differently.
Similarly,
I don’t expect you to understand how we think,
Because we are wired differently.
Yes, I am a Cadet at the United States Air Force Academy.
This entire institution is dedicated to equality,
Not matter the race or gender.
Throughout history,
The military has always led the way in desegregation.
I have many female classmates,
And I respect each and every one of them.
<< Home