More on Feminism Vs. Femininity
Carolyn McCulley, whose blog is one of my very favorites, recently penned her personal testimony. She describes her journey from feminism to femininity:
I reached college filled to the brim with the "wisdom" of Cosmopolitan magazine, but I was to encounter something more insidious than fashion magazines - feminism and the Women’s Studies Department. Class after class promoted perpetual victimhood, disrespect toward all men, an overt embrace of lesbianism, and a broadly directed militant anger. I became a teaching assistant in that department for a semester before graduating with a bachelor’s degree in journalism and a certificate in women’s studies. My twenties were more of the same and then some. I remember when I was 29 that I was so confused and depressed that I entered into therapy to figure out why I was so angry ... and for that matter, why I was still single. (Not that the two could possibly be related, right?!) Obviously, I did not have a very positive outlook on my femininity, and my therapist did not make much headway. However, God graciously intervened just as I turned 30.Keep reading here.
HT: Girl Talk
Labels: femininity
posted by Hannah at
7:45 PM
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6 Comments:
I was blessed by reading her testimony. Thanks for linking to it!
I'm going to college at the moment and have found the pressure exerted on women to accept feminism is almost oppressive. In every class, perhaps with the execption of math and science, an undercurrent rolls that sweeps many away. It is not just a different, more liberal way of looking at things. Rather, it destroys even the liberals who actively embrace it.
The destruction it works on a person's soul is significant. Their whole being is changed by it. Here at my school I do my best to stay away from them as much as possible. Their mannerisms are different and one can usually tell after just a little conversation with them who they are. It seems to be a hate driven philosphy that advocates that women are supremely advanced above all others of humanity.
I enjoyed reading Carolyn's testimony, but I'm wondering if she has truly let go of her anger toward men- which is a big part of feminism. Carolyn was a teaching assistant in a university Women's Studies department and didn't fully reject feminism until she was past age 30.
Even now, she is unmarried and seems to have unrealistic requirements of possible suitors; i.e. they have to be longtime friends, must attend and serve the same church, must have the same approach to faith and serving God, etc.
I don't think it does single women any good to model themselves after women who have so dedicated themselves to serving their local church that they have no time for men. Perhaps Carolyn hasn't abandoned feminism, but merely incorporated it into her Christian beliefs? That is the conclusion anyone would draw if they looked at her writings objectively. The story of her path to Christ is inspiring, but has she let go of her former beliefs?
I really did enjoy Carolyn's book. It helped me define in my own mind what a woman's role is in marriage. I now see that the battles aren't necessary. If you "do" marriage right, there is always a give-and-take. We work to see that we both feel we have been understood and respected through that give-and-take and it keeps things positive.
I do wonder about the wisdom of spending year after year preparing for marriage. For most of history, people married young and worked out the problems as they went along. As clumsy as that was, it was a lot better than spending decades "preparing" for a marriage that will never come. Too many Christian single women are really married to the church and pretend to search for a husband. They make a great show of learning to cook and keep a home, reading endless books about marriage, but not simply getting married and living the reality.
I think there needs to be a lot less studying marriage and a lot more marriage going on. As I said before, I did like the book, but it does reinforce the old canard; those who can, do (get married), those who can't, teach (write books about marriage).
A previous comment has been deleted by Beauty from the Heart contributors. Proverbs 26:20 states that "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases" and Proverbs 6:19 says that gossip sows discord among brothers. In other words, gossip is harmful to unity, is not a part of the brotherly love we should have in Christ, and is not edifying discussion. Although I do not know Ms. McCulley personally, it does seem unwise to deride her for "never giving up feminism" because she remains happy in her singleness. Singleness is a gift from God, and is given to different people for different lengths of time. If Ms. McCulley chooses not to actively pursue marriage, then her decision should be respected without slander for she may simply be following the will of God in her life. Quite frankly, it's her business, not ours.
Please refrain from posting futher slanderous comments, as they will be removed.
I just wanted to add that I really respect Carolyn McCulley in that she doesn't take the easy way out of blaming men or women. She tells us to get ourselves straightened out first; then be open to meeting an equally devoted "possible" husband.
I really liked how her book gave equal amounts of responsibility in marriage to men and women instead of blaming men or chastising women. We're all fallen, so we'll all have to come together before God in the end. I honestly feel Carolyn's approach is more Biblical and conciliatory than say the Debbie Maken approach.
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