Overbearing Daddies & Magazines That Care

“We wanted to set a standard of dignity and honor for the way the girls should be treated by the men in their lives,” said Lisa Wilson, co-founder of Generations of Light, an abstinence promoting ministry in Colorado Springs. “I believe if girls feel beautiful and cherished by their fathers, they don’t go looking for love from random guys.”

Randy Wilson and his wife, Lisa, founded the “Purity Ball,” a formal event for fathers and daughters to encourage abstinence. At the ball, fathers declare their commitment to treasure and protect their daughters’ purity, while the daughters vow to remain sexually pure until marriage.

Although there may be valid controversy surrounding the Purity Ball--such as whether the young girls who participate comprehend the vows they are taking, or concerning the modesty of the fashions worn at the ball--the media's reaction is incredible. Glamour, a teen magazine dedicated to spreading fashion tips, beauty secrets, and, ironically, advice on sex, reports on the Purity Ball with resentment. The article states:

“The roles are clear: Dad is the only man in a girl’s life until her husband arrives, a lifestyle straight out of biblical times. ‘In patriarchy, a father owns a girl’s sexuality,’ notes psychologist and feminist author Carol Gilligan, Ph.D. ‘And like any other property, he guards it, protects it, even loves it.’”

The author goes on to say,

“Fathers who are protective of their daughters’ virginity are nothing new. ‘Keep your flower safe!’ a good friend’s dad used to tell her when we were in college, and we’d laugh—both because it was too late for her virginity and because there was something distasteful to us about his trying to control her sex life.”

Thus comes to light a double standard. A magazine which sells copies based on sex advice to teenage girls censures concerned fathers for taking an active interest in their daughters’ behavior. Christian leader Albert Mohler commented,

“Here you have an absolute culture clash… [with Christianity which states] that parents not only have the right but the responsibility to guard the sexual virtue of their children (in this case talking about girls, but we could talk about boys as well… including the father’s responsibility to guard his son from pornography and other sexual involvements.)”

Activist Eve Ensler was quoted in Glamour as saying, “When you sign a pledge to your father to preserve your virginity, your sexuality is basically being taken away from you…It makes you feel like you’re the least important person in the whole equation. It makes you feel invisible.” Yet ‘invisible’ is hardly the adjective that comes to mind at the sight of a father and daughter uniting with a common goal. By promising to protect his daughter and showing her life choices matter, a different word seems appropriate: treasured.

Sources:

• Baumgardner, Jennifer."Would You Pledge Your Virginity To Your Father?" Glamour Magazine, February 7, 2007.
• Mohler, Al. Al Mohler Radio Show. March 19, 2007.

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Ella at Created to be a Help has posted some valuable thoughts on this. Here's a snippet:

"Reading about this, I was once again saddened by the way our culture takes the truly beautiful and makes it look undesirable (such as purity and faithfulness to your future husband, while it takes the truly undesirable (ungodly) and makes it appear beautiful (such as adultery and fortification). Then, I realized that it’s not just our culture. It’s been going on since sin entered God’s creation..."

Read the rest here.