Sad Tidings

It is with great sadness that Hannah and I both write here....okay, this isn't a funeral! But we are the bearers of sad tidings.

Beauty from the Heart will not be updated for the next few months. Hannah and I are both working on a couple of projects and currently do not have the time to keep this blog updated. Maybe sometime in the future we will pick it back up again. However, we are leaving up all previous posts for you to view. If you would like to contact us, our email address is femininebeauty [at] gmail.com.

For now, goodbye....

In Christ,

Kristin & Hannah

To Wear Or Not To Wear...

While surfing the internet the other day, I came across this article by Elisabeth Elliot concerning modesty. She quotes some letters from her readers and has some very good thoughts on the subject:

"What does modesty mean? Well, it means placing a low estimate on one's own merits, not being forward or showing off. It means unpretentious. Modesty means to be free from undue familiarity, from indecency, from lewdness, pure in thought and conduct. Speaking of modest apparel, it means decent, seemly. The opposite of modesty is conceit, boldness, immodesty, brazenness, lewdness.

Let's think first what immodesty says about us women before we talk about what its effects may be upon others. What are your Christian standards? Do you seek to be noticed, to make a splash when you come into a room? Or do you seek to be simple, humble, gentle and quiet in spirit and not wearing the very latest fashions nor looking frumpy by wearing something that's way out of date."

More on modesty:

• PurityGirls.com conducted an anonymous survey regarding what clothing is modest and what is not. The results of this survey is an eye-opener, though I only recommend it to mature readers. (The survey can be read here. Click on the pink "modesty survey results" icon in the lower part of the page.

Thanks!

As most of our readers are probably aware, we have had quite a bit of interesting discussion going on in the comment section of The Skirt Question post. As Beauty from the Heart is a relatively new blog, the amount of comments generated by that post is unprecedented.

Thank you, one and all, for joining this discussion!

We hope to have more discussions in the future. However, to insure that future discussions will remain as courteous and civil as this one has been, we have written/compiled some commenting guidelines. Please read through them before commenting!

Every Day Death: Becoming Teachable

"Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck."

-Proverbs 1:8-9

Have you ever tried to debate with someone who is convinced that they are right? You try and you try to reason with them, but they refuse to consider the possibility that they are wrong. As frustrated as I often am by stubborness, I confess that I can be extremely stubborn myself. I tend to want to teach---not be taught!
Proverbs 15:32 says,

"He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding."

We all want to be wise and have understanding, but do we take the steps required to become wise? Do we listen and accept rebuke? We cannot make any steps toward wisdom without being willing to surrender and be taught.

Surrender.

Jim Elliot once wrote,

"'He makes His ministers a flame of fire.' Am I ignitible? God deliver me from the dread asbestos of 'other things.' Saturate me with the oil of the Spirit that I may be a flame. But flame is transient, often short-lived. Canst thou bear this, my soul--short life? In me there dwells the Spirit of the Great Short-Lived, whose zeal for God's house consumed Him. 'Make me Thy Fuel, Flame of God.'"

Not long after writing the above quote, Jim Elliot left with his young wife for the mission field in Ecuador. There, he and four other missionaries attempted to reach a previously unreached Indian tribe--the Aucas--with the Word of God. On January 8, 1956 (today), they were attacked by a group of Auca tribesmen. Though each of the missionaries had brought rifles with them for protection, they all refused to use them in self defense. Every one of the missionaries was killed.

All five of the missionaries who died were young, newly married, and seemed to have their entire lives ahead of them. Yet, conscious of the danger of trying to reach the Aucas, they sacrificed their own interests for the purpose of obeying God.

What does this have to do with us? It is most likely that we will not all have to die for our faith as Jim Elliot did, but each of us must die to ourselves.

"Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me." Matthew 16:24

It has been said before that it is easier for us to surrender our bodies to death than it is to surrender our will to God. This death to ourselves is not one that we only die once, but it is a continual, every day death to our own selfish desires. This surrender includes giving up our own stubborness and willfulness and laying it at Christ's feet, giving it up so that we might become teachable and pliable in His hands.

Charles Spurgeon said,

"Jesus is to believers the one pearl of great price, for whom we are willing to part with all that we have. He has so completely won our love, that it beats alone for him; to his glory we would live, and in defence of his gospel we would die; he is the pattern of our life, and the model after which we would sculpture our character. Paul’s words mean more than most men think; they imply that the aim and end of his life was Christ—nay, his life itself was Jesus. In the words of an ancient saint, he did eat, and drink, and sleep eternal life. Jesus was his very breath, the soul of his soul, the heart of his heart, the life of his life. Can you say, as a professing Christian, that you live up to this idea? Can you honestly say that for you to live is Christ? Your business—are you doing it for Christ? Is it not done for self- aggrandizement and for family advantage? Do you ask, “Is that a mean reason?” For the Christian it is. He professes to live for Christ; how can he live for another object without committing a spiritual adultery? Many there are who carry out this principle in some measure; but who is there that dare say that he hath lived wholly for Christ as the apostle did? Yet, this alone is the true life of a Christian—its source, its sustenance, its fashion, its end, all gathered up in one word—Christ Jesus. Lord, accept me; I here present myself, praying to live only in thee and to thee. Let me be as the bullock which stands between the plough and the altar, to work or to be sacrificed; and let my motto be, 'Ready for either.'”

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• Jim Elliot quote taken from Through the Gates of Splendor, by Elisabeth Elliot, page 18
• Charles Spurgeon quote from Christian Classics Ethereal Library
  

Blogging and new features...

Due to some unforseen circumstances, blogging will be light all weekend and possibly into next week. However, I (Kristin) am working on a post and it should be here sometime soon. We are also going to be introducing some new features here, so stay tuned....

Articles and carnivals...

Recently, I came across an article by a blogger who frequently comments on my mom's blog. Just the other day, she posted on modesty and I thought she had some great thoughts.

First, a godly woman should dress and act in such a way that is chaste and modest. Alright, but what are the working definitions of these words? We don't have in the bible the books of First and Second Hem Lengths, so obviously it is more than a matter of conforming to a set of exact rules. No great surprise there. Christianity isn't about a set of rules which you follow which then brings about righteousness. It is Christ who makes us righteous and it is a matter of the heart, not how many good rules we can come up with. However, we tend to think that the shortest distance between unrighteousnes and righteousness is a good law and thus we get many of the problems we deal with in discussing modesty of dress.

This is an excellent article that is well worth reading.
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Sallie over at Two Talent Living (the same lady who hosted the Blogs of Beauty Awards) has put together a Blogs of Beauty carnival. There is a different theme to each one and this weeks theme was Beauty of the Limits. While some of the articles aren't about feminity specifically, they have been of great encouragement to me.

The Skirt Question

From the beginning when Kristin first came up with the idea for a blog about godly womanhood and femininity, writing posts has been a challenge. Before I began writing posts, I thought I knew what godly womanhood meant. Now, as I have been faced with the challenge of articulating those beliefs, it has caused me to do some Scripture searching and soul searching. The following post has been especially difficult to write, as it includes some subjects that are rather controversial among Christians. When approaching this subject, I had to try and make sure that I was not allowing my personal opinions to blind me from seeing the truth. I pray that as you read this, you will try and do the same thing.

A couple of weeks ago, David Boskovic asked us the following question:

"...you girls should do something on BftH [Beauty from the Heart] on why you don't consider wearing pants to be something non-feminine. I'd really like to hear your thoughts on that, because in my opinion that's a major part of the definition. It appears from a couple articles I read that you would agree, but where's the practice? Ok, I don't mean to ruffle any feathers. Just want to hear what you have to say."

Thank you for the interesting question, David. First of all, I would like to say that I do wear skirts occasionally and have nothing against those women who choose to wear them all the time. That, I believe, is their personal prerogative. Yet when approaching this subject I would be very, very cautious of drifting into legalism.

In Dueteronomy 22:5 "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God." (KJV) This begs the question, what is it that "pertaineth unto a woman?" What is womanly?

Some believe that women must wear dresses/skirts to be feminine, but this idea is based on the supposition that skirts/dresses are inherently women's clothing. In the United States we consider skirts to be solely a woman's garment, though in other cultures it is not always so. During Old Testament times it was not only women who wore skirts. In 1 Samuel, David cuts off a piece of Saul's "skirt." (1 Samuel 24:4, KJV) Boaz was also mentioned as wearing a skirt (1 Samuel 15:27, KJV). In Ezekiel 16:8, God refers to using His skirt to cover Israel's nakedness. Since skirts were worn by both men and women, women need not necessarily wear skirts/dresses to appear feminine.

As I said before, I have nothing against women who wear skirts and dresses. In fact, I admire them for going against the cultural norm. But I would also caution against drifting into legalism on this subject, as it is not directly spelled out in the Bible. We do not wish to be like the teachers of the law whom Jesus rebuked as those who only honored Him with their lips and taught "as doctrine the precepts of men." (Matthew 15:9) Jesus makes it clear in this passage that it is the inside--our hearts--that is more important than our appearance.

I once heard a woman speak of how she tried to emulate the godly women around her. She began by copying their cooking, dressing like them, and talking like them. Eventually she realized that, though she did her best to have the same appearance as that of the godly women around her, without Christ she was still dead inside. It is Christ inside of us who gives us life and it is the Holy Spirit that purifies our hearts. Who we are on the inside will manifest itself in our appearance. If we are content in our hearts with being women, then it should result with us looking feminine. Femininity is not merely external but becomes external when we treat others gently and when we serve and esteem others as more important than ourselves. Whether we are clothed in a skirt or even something unattractive....beauty comes from the heart.

Any thoughts?

Posted by Hannah

(Don't) Save Me

Dear Beauty from the Heart,

I was wondering, what is your perspective is on chivalry? The reason I ask is, at the beginning of the year I began courting a young man, with the expectation that we would discover whether or not God intended for us to become more than friends. Along the way, I discovered that I was very highly irritated by his 'gentlemanly behavior'. He would go very much out of his way to open doors for me, take something out of my hands if I were carrying it, and pull out seats for me. It sounds like a dream, doesn't it? But he became offended if I offered to carry anything for him, or open a door before he got there first. I was very confused, because my personality loves helping others and my one strength (among a myriad of weaknesses) is putting others before myself. I began to feel disrespected, as if my offers of courtesy were not valid or proper. At times, I felt as though I were his property, and by offering my services I was robbing him of some right.

For many other reasons, chiefly God showing us that we were both too immature (spiritually, for me) to be considering serious relationships, our courtship was ended at the beginning of summer, but the issue has continued to plague me.

What is the Biblical basis for chivalry? Is it acceptable for women to open doors for themselves, or offer to carry something if a man's hands are full? Am I being rebellious in some way by wanting to open doors when I arrive at them, instead of waiting for a man who may be a step behind me?

Sincerely,

"A Damsel in Distress"

Dear Damsel,

It's good to hear from you! You have asked several interesting questions. I've consulted my parents and God's Word and we're going to try to answer you to the best of our ability. However, if you have not already done so, I would encourage you to discuss this with your parents. They are the people God has given to guide you, and I’m sure they are more than willing to give advice.

It's true. Modern knights in shining armor have it tough these days. The damsels in distress who in medieval times would clasp their hands and shriek “Save me!” now proclaim “I can do it myself!” Is this wrong? After all, the word "chivalry" never appears in the Bible. In fact, from what I can find, the word first appeared in about 1300 AD in medieval France. But does this mean that chivalry is unbiblical?

Perhaps….but let’s take a closer look.

When you hear the word "chivalry" what comes to mind? For me, I think of a man opening the door or giving up his chair for a lady. Are these acts of kindness just that—simple acts of kindness that should be offered by both sexes? Should men treat women with such differential res

pect for merely being women?

According to 1 Peter 3:7, women are to be treated differently by their husbands. It says, "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel..." What does the term “weaker vessel” mean? I posted once an analogy I heard on this subject:

A pastor once explained in his sermon the differences between men and women, and what it meant to be a "weaker vessel." He showed to the congregation two pitchers. One was a plastic water pitcher. He explained: "Men are like this pitcher. It is strong, heavy-duty and designed fo

r a unique purpose."

Then, the pastor revealed a delicate, porcelain teapot to the congregation. "Women," he said as he gently upheld the fragile pitcher, "are like this teapot. It too is made for a unique purpose...but it is the weaker vessel. If I dropped it, it would shatter. If I dropped the plastic pitcher, it would not shatter. But the value of the teapot is not diminished by its delicateness. W

e treasure and protect teapots."

Although 1 Peter 3:7 is directed to husbands, this verse does recognize the differences between the sexes and that they should be respected, not ignored. We can see other instances in Scripture which women have been treasured and treated with deference, such as in the Song of Solomon, where a group of brothers announce that they will protect their little sister:

“If she is a wall,
we will build towers of silver on her.
If she is a door,
we will enclose her with panels of cedar.”

(Song of Solomon 8:9)

You see, chivalry is really a mindset. It's about embracing the role that God has given men: to serve and protect women. It stems from an attitude in the heart that wants to honor God, by putting the needs and comforts of women above their own.

Does this mean that chivalry is limited only to men? Well, yes-- and no. The Bible is clear that we are all to be servants of one another (1 Peter 4:10, Matthew 20:26-28). It is certainly not wrong for you to desire to serve others by putting their needs before your own, even when this inv

olves offering to carry something for someone else. In fact, it's wonderful that God has given you such a meek, serving spirit! Nonetheless, there are many opportunities for you to serve that are unique to girls.

For instance, if I am cooking dinner, I am not insulted by my brother's lack of chivalry if he does not offer to help cook. Cooking is not his strong point. (Actually, it is not mine either, but I am the person training to be a keeper of the home, and he is not!) He is perfectly capable of learning to cook, but as a girl training to be a wife and mother, I want to serve him in this way! Even chivalrous guys must need help from time to time, and should be humble enough to appreciate your willing aid.

Just the same, there needs to be humility on both sides. In order for men to be chivalrous, damsels must be willing to accept and support their actions. I know that it is sometimes difficult to make a conscious effort to allow guys to do things. At times in the past, I have insisted on carrying a heavy table myself when guys have offered to do it for me. I can handle carrying tables (most of the time) but I must step back and allow the guy to express his respect for my femininity by doing the work himself.

Thank you for writing, Damsel. I hope this helps!

God bless!

Sincerely,
Hannah (for Kristin, Lindsey and Stephanie)]

P.S.
If you would like to investigate this topic more in-depth, I recommend checking out these posts on chivalry.
"The Modern Day Chivalry" (Part One of a five post series)
"Chivalry in a Modern World"