Wednesday, October 08, 2008

The Impressive Factor

Strolling through the check-out lane, the glossy cover of Seventeen doesn’t arrest my interest. The magazine I would be tempted to open isn’t in the racks, because it doesn’t exist. GodlyGirl, it’s called.

There are beauty tips galore within those fascinating pages. "Top 10 Breathtaking, Must-Have Character Traits." "How To Get A Gentle, Quiet Spirit In Three Easy Steps." "Insider Secrets To Eye-Catching Righteousness." "Helpful Hints: Learning The Art Of Cheerful Servitude." "43 Ways You Can Start Becoming The Perfect Help-Mate Today, Before You Meet Mr. Right!"

It’s a fact: Godliness is highly attractive, deeply respected, and greatly admired. We honor those that possess it. Proverbs 31:10 says that a virtuous woman is worth far more than rubies—who wouldn’t desire to be lauded that way? I’d rather have my character praised than receive a flattering remark on my appearance, any day.

And yet, with so much stress placed upon inner beauty, something is easily overlooked. Godliness can be just one more route to gain attention and approval.

How so? Take this real-life situation, for example. It's a common occurrence at our house.

I’m sitting at my desk, doing my homework studiously. Suddenly, the door flings open, and my little sisters run into the room. They want to talk with me, play with me, or ask me questions. Awesome. There's just one difficulty-- I’m engrossed in my work. Their presence is a minor blip on my radar screen of annoyances, but a blip nonetheless. A response is required.

If any of you were watching me, I would smile sweetly, pat their darling little heads, kiss their adorable little cheeks effusively, kindly sacrifice my time for their dear little sakes, thank the precious blessings for interrupting me, and then return to my studies—after singing a hymn, praying over them, and gently dropping them a nugget or three of priceless biblical wisdom. Okay, not really, but you get the general idea.

Alone, however, there is no one to impress. No one to dazzle. I can easily mumble something about “not now”, cast a significant look in their direction (by “significant”, I mean “daggered”), and then proceed to ignore the impudent creatures who dared to disturb Her Highness. None of you would ever know; my reputation wouldn’t suffer any stains.

These everyday, private choices will only known by me, my Maker, and my immediate family members. And yet, it is these everyday, private choices that reveal my real character. Remove the pressure to impress, and you're left with the brazen truth.

We may not obsess over our physical appearances, but obsession over character is no better, when our motives are the same. If you’ve ever said or done something, knowing perfectly well in the back of your mind that it looked… well, that it looked really good, then perhaps you know what I’m talking about.

We may as well screech, Look at me! I’m so beautiful inside! When you get right down to it, that's the issue. Three words: "Look at me." Not "Look at Christ", but "Look at me." Our hearts can easily be filled with proud, attention-seeking thoughts while our mouths are busily forming words that avow the greatness and glory of God.

In Matthew 6, Christ warns the Pharisees against this very kind of false godliness:

“Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

If there is a discrepancy between our eagerness for godliness in public, and our eagerness for godliness in private, a heart check is in order. GodlyGirl can stay on the shelf where it belongs.

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Friday, January 04, 2008

Becoming Jane

At one time, a very average little girl lived on a very average little street in an average little town in the United States. We will call her, “Jane.” Jane was born with talents, strengths and weaknesses, much like other children. However, unlike other children, Jane had no parents.
It’s not that they never existed. She had them at one time. But the day she decided she didn’t like the rules they gave or the broccoli her mother served at dinner, Jane quit the family. She wanted to decide for herself who she would be.

Jane decided to treat her friends the same way. Although Jane managed to make friends with her talents and personality, she rarely was asked to play hide and seek or jump rope because she’d never adhere to the rules. She preferred to make her own.

Years passed and Jane grew. When she was a woman, she was very much the same as when a child (except a bigger version.) While as a child her main rebellion was concerning broccoli, as an adult Jane revolted at the idea of abiding by the laws set by God. Jane wanted to decide for herself, as always. The older she grew, the more headstrong and demanding she became.
One day, as Jane sat in church, she heard the pastor speak of God having different, specific designs for men and women. She learned that God had created her with a certain purpose in His mind. This angered Jane. It was yet another set of rules she’d have to dodge. Jane ditched church and decided that if the Bible contained such restrictive rules for women, it must not be true. Orthodoxy, to her, was extremist. The only religion she followed devoutly was the adoration of herself.

This was the way Jane lived every moment of her life. She never married when she fell in love, because she knew marriage involved submission. (More rules.) When she was pregnant, she refused to be chained to motherhood, so she aborted her child. (More rules.) Finally, one day, she found that she wasn’t happy to be female.

So Jane forgot she was, which was actually what she was trying to do all along.

Jane is, sadly, a true story. She’s a personification of the feminist movement, through which every woman has been encouraged to become a Jane.

If there is one thing that Jane despises, it is orthodoxy. The idea that there are Biblical roles for women, and that God really instated them, is a dagger driving at the heart of Jane’s philosophy. Unadulterated Biblical truth is her kryptonite. She can’t stand absolutes.

Having seen much of Jane in myself, I am on the verge of making a very politically incorrect absolute statement: There’s no place like home. The statement (albeit cliché) is ever so true. Even for organizationally-challenged (I.e. naturally sloppy) people like me, a tidy, cozy home in which God is held at the very center, is something to savor.

I’m not the only one. However uniquely individual women have been designed, with varying arrays of talents, I believe unshakingly that every woman was created to love the home. There was a woman Carole Mayhall wrote of in her book, Come Walk With Me, who emanated this love: A missionary wife who traveled constantly with her husband in the bush, migrating from hut to hut, she had no steady house. Yet it was so much a part of her identity to make a comforting environment, that everywhere she went, she carried a set of silver candle sticks. She’d set them on her makeshift table in an effort to turn every hut she lived in into a home.
Like the missionary wife, all women have the capability to cultivate homes that are refuges, nurturing godliness. Although it may not be a woman’s only calling, she is told by Scripture to fulfill this task. (See Proverbs 31 and Titus 2.)

In the midst of a culture radically adverse to any sort of distinction between men and women, my persuasion is a part of a minority (and a minor minority at that). George Bernard Shaw, a bitingly agnostic socialist wrote, “Home is the girl’s prison and the woman’s workhouse.” Thus is the common perception of homemaking. (Jane wears the quote like a t-shirt…in fact, it may be on a t-shirt.)

To an extent, I agree with Shaw; the home can certainly be a prison and workhouse. Likewise, any kind of rules concerning a woman’s nature can be seen as imprisonment-- from one perspective.

From where Jane is standing, the home doesn’t look like all that and a bag of chips because work is tiresome and rules plead for obedience. But the grass is always greener on the side of disobedience, until we reach that side and look back at the lush plants where we were. With a right, Biblical perspective, knowing full well the freedom that comes with obedience, home is less a cage than a stage to display God’s glory.

I like what Touchstone, the wise court jester in Shakespeare’s As You Like It, observed about contentment. Upon arriving wearily to the forest of Arden, he declared, “Ay, now am I in Arden; the more fool I; when I was at home, I was in a better place: but travellers must be content.” Only when we find our identities in the locations God places us do we discover contentment.

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Monday, December 10, 2007

Don't Follow Your Heart


Imagine that I've taken you to a quaint coffee shop for a treat. I've just handed you a steaming mocha latte. Your favorite. Smiling your thanks, you sit down, and take a small sip. Suddenly, a strange, steely glint enters my eyes. "The coffee has been poisoned. You have less than twenty-four hours to live," I say in a low voice.

Another sip. I crease my brow in confusion. I expected fear and panic to grip you, and sobs to shake your body. Instead, you lazily stir the latte with a straw and comment on its flavor. But stop— Why? Why didn't you run out of the coffee shop, wailing in distress? What triggered your careless reaction?

It's obvious, of course. You didn't believe me.

Girls are emotional. There's just no getting around it. You probably know what I'm talking about; happy on one day, and feeling like the world is crashing around you the next. Smiling in the morning, and then crying—sometimes for no discernible reason— only a few hours later. I speak from personal experience. It happens. And apparently, changing feelings are the norm in other areas, too. Turn on the radio, and you'll be instantly barraged by a host of songs about it. We're told that we can simply "fall in", and then "fall out" of love, as if we have no control over our feelings. Oh, honey, I'm so in love with you... I'm just crazy about you... oops, now I'm not. I'm sorry, dear. Goodbye. The world tells us to rely on our feelings, and follow our hearts. And romance is only one of the many spheres that are effected; the principle of depending on our emotions for guidance clearly extends much farther.

Beliefs influence thoughts, and thoughts influence feelings. One way or another, all our emotions, both positive and negative, overflow from what we're inwardly convinced of. Think about it. If you believed that I had poisoned the latte, you would have had an entirely different response.

So, what am I getting at? Don't ever go to a coffee shop with a Beauty from the Heart contributor if you value your life? No, not really. My point is actually serious, and I don't want you to miss it.

As Christians, we often allow our emotions to wreak havoc with us. We don't always feel like God loves us. We don't always feel zealous for the gospel. We don't always feel overwhelmed with joy. We don't always feel forgiven. We deeply desire to feel these things, but sometimes... well, the feelings just aren't there.

The core issue here is still belief.

Take a look at Job. On a day during the height of his enjoyment of God's blessings—without any warning—two things happen that change his life forever. A breathless servant arrives, carrying a message: Job's wealth has been obliterated. Before he has even a second to absorb this, another messenger arrives, with even worse news. Job's children have met sudden, violent deaths. And what does he do? Not what most people would expect. Job stuns me. He falls to the ground, and there, face down... he worships. He worships! In the midst of Job's greatest crisis, the exclamation, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised" springs spontaneously from his lips. It blows my mind. Job's reaction doesn't make rational sense. In fact, it defies cause and effect. How could his first, knee-jerk reaction be to praise God? Acceptance is one thing, but adoration?

There's only one explanation. Job's emotional response came from a firm, unshakable conviction. It was his belief in the goodness of his God that compelled him to humble worship. Job's relationship with God wasn't based off of circumstances, or the feelings produced by those circumstances. The reason he didn't "curse God and die", as his wife advised, was because his relationship with God rested on one solid, reliable foundation. Truth.

Fred Webedou used to tell a story about a terrifying experience he had as a fighter pilot in the Vietnam war. At times, a thick blanket of white fog would surround the entire plane. Nothing else was visible, either above or below. After some time, a panicked feeling of disorientation would begin to creep in. This sensation would grow in intensity, and become overpowering to the point where it felt like the plane was flying upside down. Instead of trusting the instruments, many pilots allowed their senses to dictate their course of action. In desperate attempts to "right the plane", they blindly maneuvered headlong into the ground. The pilots were warned not to heed their instinctual feelings, but to devote their whole attention to the instruments instead. Fred testified that this took a tremendous amount of willpower, but it saved his life.

If we allow ourselves to be directed by our feelings, we will quickly find ourselves obscured in fog, upside down, and headed for disaster. Our relationship with God will prove to be a painfully shallow and inadequate, and when difficult circumstances ensue, whatever semblance of a relationship is left will invariably buckle. We need a stronger foundation— a foundation informed by the truth and supported by belief, not sustained by emotions. Only this kind of relationship will enable us to produce God-glorifying feelings in any circumstance.

Christ wants to have full reign over of us, and that includes our emotions. He wants us to trust Him, and not fear. To be filled with peace, not anger. To brim with joy in His love, not sink under the weight of anxiety. Whether we encounter challenging or pleasant situations, He desires our feelings to be guided by Him. And the only way that this can happen is if we deliberately choose to immerse ourselves in the Word of God, confidently placing our trust in the beautiful truths He reveals there. Our emotions simply are not trustworthy enough gauges to lead us. We must first get a grip on the solid, unchangeable Truth, and believe it. Then, when our fluctuating emotions start to wreak havoc with us, we can put them in their place— in submission to the Lord of our hearts.

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Friday, November 23, 2007

Anti-Senioritis Prescription

Observe the average highschool graduating female. Her life is not a simple one. Twelve months ago, she was a carefree junior. Now with graduation looming on her horizon, she's trying to finish her studies and highschool commitments with the same amount of enthusiasm as when she started. Geometry, Government and Geography.... she tries to grin and bear it. On top of her studies, she's fighting to stay immune from senioritis.

Senioritis is one of those rampant diseases ignored by the World Health Organization. Victims' symptoms include apathy, lack of ambition or vision, and an acute desire for entertainment rather than hard work. The average highschool graduating female is prime for contracting this disease.

Then calculate the holiday season into the picture. The aftermath of Thanksgiving includes more than excessive tryptophan. Graduating females also must grapple with post-holiday stress caused by well-meaning questioners about her future: "Do you have any plans for college?" "Have you decided on a major?" "Are you going to get a job?" "Are you going to live at home?" "When are you going to start dating?" "Do you have a special someone?" This seventeen, eighteen or nineteen year old female is now expected to come up with answers to these life-altering questions.

What's a girl to do?

While we don't know exactly what questions you may be facing, here's some wisdom we've gleaned that we hope will help you out:



Decision-Making

Carole Mayhall, in her book, Come Walk With Me, is writing specifically to women who are pondering whether to work outside the home. However, her advice on decision-making can be applied to a plethora of situations:
"May I (gently) suggest that when a wife and mother--one who is serious about obeying God--asks, 'Should I work outside the home?' she is asking the wrong question. The first question a woman should ask is not, 'Do we need the money?' Neither is it, 'Can I pursue a career at the same time as being a homemaker?' nor, 'Will it be fulfilling and something I want to do?' Often if the answer is yes to these questions, she plunges ahead. Instead, she should ask, 'Is this God's will for my life?'
You may be thinking, but doesn't God lead through circumstances? Sometimes, but not always or primarily. God leads mainly through His Word (Psalm 119:105), through peace of heart (Philippians 4:6-7), and through the counsel of other people (Proverbs 15:22). If circumstances line up with the direction you get from these three primary channels, then they're an added bonus and may help you be assured of what God's will really is."
And what about our feelings? How much should we depend on our emotions to guide our choices? Nancy Leigh DeMoss wrote in Lies Women Believe,
"The Truth is that, due to our fallen condition, our feelings often have very little to do with reality. In many instances, feelings are simply not a reliable gauge of what is actually true. When we allow them to be tied to our circumstances--which are constantly changing--rather than the unchangeable realities of God and His Truth, our emotions are prone to fluctuate wildly... If we want to walk in freedom, we must realize that our emotions are not necessarily trustworthy and be willing to reject any feelings that are not consistent with the Truth."

What About My Dreams?

Everybody has dreams for the future. The world tells us to "dream big" and chase after what we want until it becomes ours. However, the danger with dreams is that they're often "me-centered;" they tend to revolve around me wanting to "become great" and not God's glory. Pride grows in dreams like mold on old cheese.
In response to dreams, think about C.J. Mahaney's thoughts on pride from is book, Humility:
"[Jesus said,] 'But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all.' (vv.43-44).
We always want to pay careful attention when that word must appears in Scripture. 'Must' points us to something that's required, something that's indispensable. 'You want to be great?' Jesus is saying. 'Well, here's what has to happen. What's required is that you become a servant to others; it means nothing less than becoming the slave of everyone.' .... A profound and historic reversal is taking place here--one that has to occur in each of our lives if we're to have any possibility of becoming truly great in God's eyes.... [We become truly great by] serving others for the glory of God."
God-honoring dreams for the future stem from a heart solely focused on serving others and spreading God's fame.

Have you received wisdom from godly counselors about decision-making, or have you found any Scripture passages to be particularly helpful in this area? Please share it with us!

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Friday, November 09, 2007

Challenging This Brave New World


Huddled in dimly lit room in Germany, a man struggled to arrange wooden tiles on his desk. He stroked his beard thoughtfully as he squinted in the candlelight. Finally, he placed the tiles on a bulky, homemade contraption. This was it—the invention that would make or break the destiny of Christendom, making books available to all. Words inked by Gutenberg’s printing press would revolutionize Europe, and to this day, every library and bookshelf owes its existence to that man. In 1997, Time-Life magazine declared Gutenberg’s invention to be the most important of the past one thousand years. No invention since Gutenberg’s printing press has been more influential; until, perhaps now.
No, we are not on a continent struggling to emerge from the Dark Ages. Most can read and we now take books for granted. However, as never before in history, virtually limitless information is brought into our homes via a single tool: the internet.

In years past, it was only an elite few—politicians, monarchs, and lately, the press—who harnessed the ability to broadcast information on a large scale. Now that responsibility has been placed in the hands of any man, woman, or child able to click a button. Everyone has access to this updated version of Gutenberg’s printing press. It's so easy and potent. Yet the greatness of any invention is not the object itself, but how it changes the world through its existence. A printing press doesn't matter unless people's minds are changed for the better from its books.

At Beauty from the Heart, we've tried to use our influence, however limited, responsibly. We're trying to do our part to spread the message of Biblical womanhood to Christian teens, trying to challenge our peers to consider the beauty of their calling as women of God; but we can only do so much on a website.

Unless Biblical womanhood becomes more than a concept to us, but a way of living that is applied every day, our influence is nothing. If we only take what we've learned and tuck into in our brains to catch dust, have we truly learned anything? Or do we live what we believe? Do we lovingly share this truth with the feminism-indoctrinated girl we know who suits up for football practice, ready to tackle male players? Do we share what we know of purity with the nine year old neighbor who brags about her latest "boyfriend? Do we assume our nation is doomed to extreme immorality, and stop praying for revival? Action is how change happens. I have a dream, that by God's grace in using willing hands, something can be changed.

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Saturday, September 01, 2007

Saying Goodbye to Victoria (and Bob)


Meet Victoria. She is fluent in four romantic languages and quotes Tennyson at the drop of a hat. While tossing together a gourmet breakfast, Victoria doesn't sweat; she glistens. Demure and reserved, showing an "inordinate" amount of emotion is not something she does. Ever. Even her laughter is like the tinkling of silver bells--never a loud belly laugh--and her smile is neither too distant nor too sincere. Her true opinion is rarely shared, for propriety is valued at all costs. In her spare time, she rivals Monet with her painting. She is everything that is appropriate, everything that is elegant, everything that is refined. Victoria is... a "lady."

Perhaps Victoria's only fault is her unfortunate relation. Standing in stark contrast with Victoria's perfections, is her cousin: Bob. Bob is a girl. She chose a male nickname for herself because she did not wish to be recognized as a part of a gender discriminating society. (Sometimes, she wishes she were a boy.) She attends a college where she is majoring in Women's Studies. In accordance with the free-thinking ways of a post-feminist culture (and following the ideas of her college professor), Bob believes that femininity is a myth, and traditional family values are the leftovers of some dictatorial, man-ruled society from the past. Strong, independent, self-sufficient, Bob is... an "Amazon."

These two "cousins" are caricatures. They both represent extreme ideas of womanhood. Victoria is a portrayal of--you guessed it--the Victorian image of a lady. Bob is a painting of the ideal young feminist. Which of these disagrees with the Biblical standard of womanhood? Resources abound with messages on thinking Biblically in the area of finances, marriage, and raising children. And yet, when it comes to biblical womanhood, the silence is palpable and the water is murky.

When asked to define femininity, we tend to stumble over our words because we don't know where to start. Our conceptions of what defines a woman are often based off preconceived notions or the predominant view of our culture. In order to understand what womanhood really is, however, we cannot turn to either Victoria or Bob. Neither have the answer.

Bob's beliefs are a blatant rebellion to what God desires from His female members of creation. On the most basic level, God created women to love being women. Bob doesn't. Regarding the differences between men and women, Bob lives in denial. She has allowed her identity to be formed by a feminist culture, not God.

If we do not meet "Bob's" every day, we at least witness the fingerprints they have left in the world. The influence of feminism is undeniable. Yet Victoria's gloved prints are often less easily discerned. Sometimes we may even confuse Victoria with Biblical womanhood.

Victoria has qualities which are admirable. A sense of propriety and good manners are commendable attributes. And who wouldn't want to know four romantic languages? However, imagine Victoria in a situation where she is under pressure. Picture her as a mother with children demanding attention. When the children squabble, or disrupt the order and cleanliness of her parlor, Victoria's patience evaporates immediately. She can teach her children French, and she will ensure that each of them handles a fork and knife properly by the age of three, but she does not endeavor to cultivate in her children a passion for their Maker. Victoria’s delicate hands, so adept over harp strings and piano keys, are not practiced in the art of serving. The hours she spent painting and memorizing poetry are never to be seen again. Her life is in turmoil.

Do you see how Victoria’s femininity falls apart? She's an empty shell of a woman because elegance was her identity. She is all icing, no cake. Although Victoria’s housekeeping and linguistic accomplishments may gracefully accompany godly womanhood, they cannot replace godly womanhood. Important attributes of womanhood are not ballroom dancing lessons or scone-baking skills; it’s the spiritual accomplishment of growing with God daily that matters.

God doesn't set Victoria or Bob before us as role models. He gave us someone different.

Allow me to introduce Christina. If you noticed her on the street then you would be quite observant; she isn't one to vie for attention. Her clothing is finely made, yet not ostentatious. Christina works hard around the house and occasionally outside of it, all for the sake of her beloved family. From girlhood she has endeavored to honor her future husband by fighting diligently for purity in her heart. Partially as a result of her steady support, Christina's husband is now a highly respected man in the community. She's beautiful too, in a lasting way. Youthfulness has long since faded from Christina's face, but her husband says, "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." As outward beauty has deteriorated, her inner beauty has only shined brighter. She is a living testimony to the words, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

Does she remind you of anyone? Most likely you’ve figured out that she isn’t like Victoria or Bob—characters we imagined to portray different ideas of womanhood. Christina is different. She is a character from the imagination of God. Although she’s unnamed in the Bible, we often nickname her “The Proverbs 31 Woman.” She's the standard God has set.

It doesn’t require a degree in Women’s Studies or experience in finishing school to discover the purpose of femininity. Everything needed for a thorough grasp is tucked in the pages of the Bible. Surprising? It shouldn’t be. After all, wouldn’t the One who created us know why He did?


Hannah and Lindsey

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Monday, July 30, 2007

It's tough being a model. Hours of smiling practice, sessions with makeup artists and designers, and bottles of chill pills are required before that fateful traipse down the runway. Her burden is heavy. Although the outfit technically belongs to the designer, it's the model's job to sell it. Will the reporters hail her clothes as quirky or creative? The most imaginative design or faux-pas of the year? Dozens of cameras flash. She must now ignore the little blue spots in her eyes and navigate the return route down the runway, all while flaunting fifteen inch heels. On top of all the stress, she can't even eat. Oh, the pressure...

I'm a model, too, only without the paparazzi. From my position, the easy thing is to criticize other models for their influence: "Why are they popular while I'm...well...me? If I had their position, I'd do a better job of it."

I'm sure you can sympathize, as you've probably met one too; a dynamic model with that special talent to influence people. They're trendsetters. While legend tells of everything King Midas touched turning to gold, everything that person touches becomes hip. Don't ever try solving a disagreement with them by an election. They'll win the popular vote.

You've probably guessed by now that I'm not just referring to fashion models. Attitudes, word choice and even posture can be trends spread by others. We're creatures who love mimicry; some people simply have that special "zing" which causes us to admiringly imitate them. They're unconscious leaders, natural models.

In the past I've looked at friends who meet this criteria and mentally "tsk-ed" them. Can't they see how much influence they possess? Can't they see how many adoring eyes look to them for cues? "Popularity isn't just a fluke; it is gift with a purpose. Trendsetters have the responsibility to spread the right trend," I rant. Who knows how many people have been negatively influenced by bad leaders?

Inwardly I trade places with my friends and imagine how the world would be a better place if such popularity were mine. Yet if I only glanced over my shoulder I would see the face of my little sister. With one self conscious eye on herself and the other fixed on me, I have an audience too.

John Donne was on the right track when he wrote, "No man is an island, entire of itself. Each is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less." He was dreaming about death at the time; how each death affects humanity as a whole, but the principle applies to the living too. While it's easy to leave the job of role modeling to those with magnetic personalities, no man is an island. Every foot, big or small, leaves a print for others to follow.

1 Timothy 4:12 is so often quoted to prove that "youth matter" to the church: "Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." It's pleasant to consider how much influence my actions carry, but I squirm at the command to "set the believers an example." I like being important. I just don't like being responsible for the consequences.

Like it or not, I am a trendsetter. Just as every fashion model to ever strut the runway, I impact the minds of others by what I wear. Am I an example of modesty? Or have I gotten lazy in picking my clothes?

In a way, I possess the power of a radio station in miniature. People hear what I'm saying, flippant words and all. What values am I broadcasting? What words am I using? Will others feel free to gossip if I do it? Am I a walking example of the beauty which comes from the heart?

And the hardest of all--am I being a model of love?

I want to ponder this more often; for instance, in the next five minutes when I run downstairs, maybe I'll bump into my sister. Perhaps she'll ask me to play with her. She might even ask for my help. Then, I'll need to react purposefully.

After all, it's my runway.

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Saturday, June 30, 2007

No Longer Condemned


She had sinned. The sick feeling in the pit of her stomach grew, as she was overwhelmed by the feeling that she was unclean. Filled with revulsion at herself and acutely aware of her unworthiness, she became timid to approach God in prayer. Although she had repented, the words guilty, guilty, guilty still echoed in her mind.

Learning to deal with sin is one of the fiercest struggles in the Christian life—and often, one of the most discouraging. I have discovered that the more time I spend studying God’s Word and in prayer, the more my own hideous unrighteousness is revealed to me. In the illumination of God’s holiness, my sinful thoughts and behavior are laid bare. In fact, my knowledge of my own sinfulness is growing continually. We listen to a convicting sermon or message, and then leave the building filled with an overpowering sense of discouragement and frustration, not joy. Even after repentance, the guilt that my sin has wrought often burns me. The nagging question is: Now what?

It’s tempting to think that the feeling of guilt which results is beneficial. Somehow, we think that if it’s so painful, it must be a good thing—but it isn’t. C.J. Mahaney put it best:

“Don’t buy the lie that cultivating condemnation and wallowing in your shame is somehow pleasing to God, or that a constant, low-grade guilt will somehow promote holiness and spiritual maturity. It’s just the opposite! God is glorified when we believe with all our hearts that those who trust in Christ can never be condemned.”

The Answer: the Cross

Two nights ago, I lay awake in bed, unable to sleep. Suddenly, I felt a strong sense that God desired me to get out of bed to kneel prostrate on the ground. Although I do not often pray in that position during the middle of the night, I knew that there was a specific reason for it that night. I began to pour out my heart to my Father, and immediately, one of the main things that He impressed upon me was the glorious truth of Romans 8:1. The verse cries triumphantly, “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” None. All our sins were atoned for at the cross where Jesus died. He suffered the penalty that we deserved, and the burden of our sin has been completely removed.
I needed that reminder on Thursday. I had once again been feeling the weight of my failure to live up to God’s commands, and consequently, I was discouraged and frustrated with myself. But as I prayed, the wondrous truth of the gospel changed my disheartened attitude into thanksgiving and joy. Jesus suffered a brutal death on the cross for the very sin that I committed yesterday, and last week, and this morning. Because Christ is the propitiation for my sins, there is now no need for condemnation.

In fact, when we linger in our guilt, we are telling Christ that His sacrifice was not enough. We are adamantly insisting upon carrying a burden that He has already removed forever. If you have placed your faith in the work of Jesus Christ on the cross, you have been justified by His blood. You now stand spotless and blameless before God’s throne-- clothed in the glorious righteousness of the Son of God.

Why, then, is it so easy to fall into this pattern of self-condemnation, when God so clearly desires the message of the cross to be ever-present in our hearts? A fundamental misapplication of the gospel lies at the root cause of this issue. You and I feel condemned only when we do not let the power of the gospel transform our lives. Our minds must be constantly renewed by the truth of God’s Word, and we ought to make it our daily goal to search out the depths of God’s unmerited grace towards us. God wants us to be firmly convinced of our position in Christ! When we meditate on the life-transforming truth of the gospel, we will be filled anew with awe and wonder at the great God we serve, not weighed down with guilt.

Acknowledge your sins before God. Admit the depths of your depravity and confess with tears the sinfulness of your heart to Him. “But don’t stop there!” says Mahaney. “Move on to rejoicing in the Savior who came to save the worst of sinners. Lay down the luggage of condemnation and kneel down in worship at the feet of Him who bore your sins.” Yes, recognize your sin. Then turn to the cross with a heart brimming with gratitude and joy, for there is no longer any condemnation for those in Christ Jesus!

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Monday, June 04, 2007

Beauty, At Last


There must have been a reason Jesus was a carpenter. Although on the surface it may seem Jesus was simply following His surrogate father, Joseph, into the family business, surely our sovereign God had a purpose in choosing that profession for His Son. Of all occupations, why did He pick carpentry? Why not fishing or farming?

Perhaps it is because Jesus had been a carpenter of hearts since the beginning of time. He was always working at sanding, carving and polishing the hearts of men. It was only fitting that He continue the line of work on earth.

The tale of one of His earlier carpentry projects has survived the ages. The storyline began like a Hollywood production: A simple country boy captured the heart of a nation through a single act of heroism. He was an instant celebrity. But life took a turn for the worst when the country boy's popularity began threatening the king's fragile self esteem. Although he would never dream of usurping the government, in envious fury, the paranoid king sicced assassins on the innocent hero. The glamorous storyline ended there, as the young man spent the following months as a refugee, hunted like an animal, crying out to God to answer why.

Gene Edwards speculated:

"David the sheepherder would have grown up to become King Saul II, except that God cut away the 'Saul' inside David's heart. That operation, by the way, took years and was a brutalizing experience that almost killed the patient.... David accepted this fate. He embraced the cruel circumstances. He lifted no hand nor offered resistance. Nor did he grandstand his piety. Silently, privately, he bore the crucible of humiliation. Because of this he was deeply wounded. His whole inner being was mutilated. His personality was altered. When the gore was over, David was barely recognizable."

In one of the darkest hours of David's life, a transformation took place. Under the steady hand of God, David's scars became beauty marks. His heart was carved away and replaced by a heart after God's own.

This transformation is commonly known as "sanctification," yet it is perhaps better described as a death. It is a dying to self in order to be alive to Christ. C.J Mahaney explained it like this:

"Sanctification is about our obedience. It involves work. Empowered by God's spirit, we strive. We fight sin. We study Scripture and pray, even when we don't feel like it. We flee temptation. We press on; we run hard in the pursuit of holiness. And as we become more and more sanctified, the power of the Gospel conforms us more and more closely, with ever-increasing clarity, to the image of Jesus Christ."

However, sanctification is not an earning of God's love in any way; He has already declared us beautiful by virtue of Christ's blood. Beauty in Christ is given to us upon receiving salvation. Yet the etching of our character and inner beauty takes time to develop.


Two friends have recently challenged me by their stunning inner beauty. One demonstrates maturity beyond her years as she balances her highschool studies with helping care for younger siblings and her Alzheimer's ridden grandfather. The other spends her days running errands and assisting her invalid mother. While these young women's faithfulness is not heralded in the streets, their inner beauty silently radiates as a testimony to God's work in their lives.

My friends would be the first to admit that their sanctification process has been anything but painless. It is not easy to face a mile long "To-Do" list with a smile every morning. The development of inner beauty requires constant peeling and scraping of pride encrusted hearts, and often includes the loss of many a tear. Soren Kierkegaard mused, "God creates everything out of nothing. And everything which God is to use, He first reduces to nothing."

And yet, these dear girls are pressing on. They are encouraged by David's reward; that someday God will set down the sandpaper, dust them off and be able to say: "Ahh, a little beauty, at last."

Sources:

Gene Edwards, A Tale of Three Kings. p.24-25

C.J. Mahaney, Living the Cross Centered Life. p. 117

Respond:
Do you have any role models (historical figures, friends, parents, relatives, etc.) whose inner beauty shines in the way they live? What have their examples taught you?

Part One//Part Two//Part Three//Part Four

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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Through The Looking Glass

Elizabeth awoke one morning to discover a nightmare. It began as an ordinary day. She stumbled out of bed, pulled on some clothes and sped to the bathroom, hoping to arrive before Krissy, her little sister awoke and demanded they take turns.

Elizabeth grabbed her toothbrush and was about to put it to her teeth when she caught sight of herself in the mirror. The unearthly reflection caused her to blink, and with a clatter, her toothbrush fell to the floor. Folds of greenish skin wrinkled down her face. Her eyes, normally a light hazel, had become red bulbs bulging from her sockets. “Aah!” she shrieked.

As her fingers cautiously met the scaly folds of her face, a sensation of horror ran through her body. Her face had turned into a Halloween mask overnight, only a hundred times worse. Her long, wavy brown hair had shrunk to only a few spiky strands on her head and a few hairs protruded from her ears. On her arms were pussy white sores that hurt, now that she thought of them.

A knock sounded at the door. “Lizzy, let me in! I need the bathroom too, you know!” It was Krissy. Elizabeth froze. There was no way her sister could see her like this! Throwing a towel over her head, she opened the door, rushed past her little sister and into her own room.

What was happening? What had she done to cause this…this…monster to take over her body? Was it something she ate the night before? She prayed it would not be permanent, whatever it was.

Then, a terrible, sinking feeling came over her. She knew exactly what was going on. This was no monster. At least, this monster was not something new to who she was. This was her Self. The contents of her heart had spilled over to her body. She had now become on the outside what she always was on the inside.

Much to my relief, this is a far-fetched story. Chances are that we will never wake up to find that our faces have turned green or that we resemble a villain from a comic book, but I do wonder what would see if we had a morning like Elizabeth’s. What if we lived in a world where we were inside-out, where our souls were in plain view? What if how beautiful we were depended not upon the shape of our face or our weight, but how much love was in our hearts? Would we be beautiful?

And yet, we do live in a world where our insides are shown outwardly. Proverbs 4:23 says that the heart is the “wellspring of life.” Our lives and our actions all spring from the stuff we allow to grow in our hearts. And is this stuff beautiful? The answer is “no.”

With the amount of arrogance, boastfulness, meanness, lies, and self-satisfaction stored up in my heart, I doubt I would appear any different from Elizabeth’s monster. Jeremiah 17:9 speaks of the state of the human condition: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Jeremiah continues on to say that although the heart is deceitful, it is not hidden. “’I the Lord search the heart, and test the mind, to give each man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”

To say God’s beauty stands in contrast with our ugliness would be an understatement. Comparing Him to us would be like comparing a rainbow with mud. There is no comparison. Christ—who is God in human form—is so inwardly beautiful that we would fall to our knees at a glimpse of His heart.

He doesn’t flatter us. Christ knows exactly how ugly we are. Yet, in His death for us, the wickedness that formerly covered us like pussy, oozing sores is healed the very moment we repent and place our faith in Christ. We become beautiful in the eyes of God. Not just kind-of-pretty-but-in-need-of-work; we become radiantly stunning. When God looks at us, He sees the glowing purity of His Son. We may bury our head in shame at all of our faults—but no matter what we do, God sees utter perfection.

And what does He now call us? No longer are we inner monsters. With Christ shining through us, we are given a new name: His Bride.


Part One//Part Two//Part Three//Part Four

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Monday, May 28, 2007

More Than Your Average Miss Universe


What defines physical beauty? Is it a certain eye color, skin type or chin length? What factors cause one person to bear taunts from classmates while another is crowned Miss Universe? And why have human beings been created so differently? Philosophers, scientists, and a certain missionary have each asked a form of this question.

One proposed answer is the scientific theory of "Averageness," founded by Sir Francis Galton in 1883. At the time, it was thought there may be certain facial characteristics common for criminals. For instance, all criminals might share large noses or crooked grins, or squinty eyes and cleft chins. Sir Francis was determined to find out once and for all. His hypothesis had possibilities; if it were true, we could judge if a person engaged in illegal activities simply by looking at him. Although nowadays we may call this "stereotyping" and a scary thought, in 1883 it was considered plausible.

After piecing together the noses and eyes of many a male criminal into a composite photograph, the result was a face that was surprisingly...handsome. Though Sir Francis could never provide evidence for a specific criminal stereotype, he did spark an idea:

What if it is the most average men and women that are considered the most beautiful? What if people are considered "ugly" simply because they look different? Thus, the theory of averageness was born.

Further scientific study showed that although averageness isn't the only deciding factor of a person's physical attractiveness, it is important. More composite images, such as those of the Miss Universe 2005 contestants, reveal those considered physically cream of the crop often possess similar characteristics. With narrow noses, high cheekbones and wide smiles, some of the Miss Universe composite images look like identical twins. According to the theory of Averageness, "Beautiful people" look alike.

What is the moral of this story? If you wish to be beautiful, science says, be born average. Or, if you don't have that luxury, try your best to conform.

And yet, science's answer to "the beauty question" seems a bit too simplistic. It explains what humans find attractive, but is that necessarily the same thing as true beauty? Given an answer that is only skin deep, we are still left scratching our heads.

One night, my friend, Daria and I stumbled upon an important clue to the true nature of beauty. In a moment of desperate boredom, we had decided upon the oh-so-nerdy "game" of "philosophizing." The point of the game is to argue philosophically about a topic you know nothing about. And win.
I came up with the first question. “Okay, Dar. Here it is: ‘What is beauty?’”
She rolled her eyes. “Great. You pick a hard question and I’m supposed to answer it?”
“Basically…yes.”
“Okay...do you want me to define beauty in people or in things?”
“Define it in....” I struggled for a challenging subject. My eyes caught the pencil holder on Daria’s desk, which gave me an idea. “Define beauty in a pair of scissors.”
“Scissors aren’t beautiful!” she cried indignantly.
“How do you know? What makes a pair of scissors beautiful?”
Daria grabbed the pair of scissors on her desk. “They’re…uh…scissors are beautiful because of how well they function.”
After a moment I asked, “So...if they work the way their maker wanted them to work, then they’re beautiful?”

Although most arguments-for-the-sake-of-arguing are without substance, I think my friend and I discovered a key idea that extends much deeper than a pair of scissors. Beauty isn't about the eye of the beholder. It's about the eye of the Creator.

Scissors are "beautiful" when they accomplish the purpose of its maker. If they cut well, they've done their job. In the same way, God has designed us specifically to carry out a certain purpose. The Psalmist expressed this when he sang,
"For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.”

It may be hard to believe at times, especially when we look in the mirror first thing in the morning, but our looks are not an accident. God created us with deliberate intricacy. He has not given everyone the body of a supermodel, because I doubt His purpose is for everyone to be a supermodel. However, every hair and freckle was given for a reason.

In her book, Let Me Be a Woman, Elisabeth Elliot tells of Gladys, a young woman who realized this truth:
“You have heard me tell of Gladys Aylward…she told how when she was a child she had two great sorrows. One, that while all of her friends had beautiful golden hair, hers was black. The other, that while her friends were still growing, she stopped. She was about four feet ten inches tall. But when at last she reached the country to which God had called her to be a missionary, she stood on the wharf in Shanghai and looked around at the people to whom He called her.
‘Every single one of them,’ she said, ‘had black hair. And every single one of them had stopped growing when I did. And I said, ‘Lord God, You know what You’re doing!’”
We may never have a moment like Gladys Aylward's, in which we see clearly the reason for our design. But we may safely say that God has given our bodies as tools to accomplish His purpose; and when His purpose is fulfilled in us...it's a beautiful thing.

Sources:
  • Miss Universe composite images can be found here.
Part One//Part Two//Part Three//Part Four

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

You're Such a Doll


Barbie has been in the news for a long time, maintaining celebrity status for over fifty years. Yet in spite of her age, not a wrinkle has formed on her face. With her continual smile, glossy blond locks, sparkling blue eyes and size two waistline, it is no wonder she attracted such a boyfriend as Ken. The couple remained together for years; touring the United States in their various RV's, cruise ships, ponies and sports cars. (Of course, Barbie is also enormously wealthy.)

As the envy of many girls, Barbie has not only become a celebrity but an icon to which women have aspired. Saying a girl “looks like Barbie” is a compliment. However, a groundbreaking 1997 edition of Health magazine concluded that appeasing the Barbie image is impossible for most women. The magazine revealed the average woman as about 5'4" and weighing approximately 145 pounds. On the other hand, Barbie's thin figure consists of being a tall 6'0" and weighing in at only 101 pounds.

Above: Barbie vs. Average Woman (Click for larger image.)

It doesn't require a Ph.D to notice she is grossly underweight and possibly victim of an eating disorder. The same year Health published its article, Barbie experienced plastic surgery, resulting in a slightly expanded waist.

However noble the attempt to "reform" Barbie's body, a re-molding of the doll cannot change the way women think. It’s a fact: human beings are fools for beauty, especially women. We want the admiration that comes with being considered beautiful, no matter the cost. As mirrors look on tauntingly, some women have resorted to damaging their bodies with excessive diet pills, purging, and even starvation. Studies indicate that seven million American women have an eating disorder, and 95% of those who have eating disorders are between the ages of twelve and twenty-five. Half of girls between the ages of eleven and thirteen consider themselves overweight, and 80% of thirteen year olds have tried to lose weight. Beauty is serious business.

And yet despite its influence on women, beauty is not a solid thing. America’s obsession with skinny is only a recent addition to a standard of beauty which has evolved throughout the decades. For example, actresses of the 1940's and 50's sported neon red lipstick. It was classy. It was sophisticated. The fad was given a decent burial in the 1960's as a new idea of "beauty" was pursued.


Above: A vintage magazine (featuring 1930's and 40's movie star, Claudette Colbert) contrasts to the perception of beauty featured on a modern magazine cover.

Our perception of beauty fluctuates. As a result, we will not be cured by a new Barbie. Our view of beauty cannot merely be given a makeover. It must be revolutionized. In order to discover lastly, timeless beauty, we must cut down to its very definition.


Sources:

Part One//Part Two//Part Three//Part Four

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Friday, April 20, 2007

Ignition

What turns a quirky fashion statement into a fad? And what transforms a fad into something timeless? What causes a book to reach the bestseller’s list, while other equally well-written books gather dust on library shelves? From feminism to yoga, activities and ideals once held only by fringe radicals have become the norm. We all would like to know: Why and how?

Malcolm Gladwell’s book, The Tipping Point, attempts to answer these questions. Gladwell writes of the Hush Puppies, once a little-known shoe brand that inexplicably gained worldwide recognition:

“In the case of the Hush Puppies, the great mystery is how those shoes went from something worn by a few fashion-forward downtown Manhattan hipsters to being sold in malls across the country. What was the connection between the East Village and Middle America? The Law of the Few says the answer is that one of these exceptional people found out about the trend, and through social connections and energy and enthusiasm and personality spread the word about Hush Puppies.”

What caused the Hush Puppy fad? According to Gladwell, it was surprisingly simple: a small number of people actively spread the word.

In the 1960’s and 70’s, a new wave of feminism swept over America. This wasn’t your grandmother’s “Votes for Women” campaign. This movement threw orthodoxy out the window. Men were labeled “oppressors” and feminism became known as the “women’s liberation movement.” The movement redefined womanhood and pushed Biblical perspective into the shadows. It was unconventional and extreme--and it transformed North America.

Yet, like the Hush Puppies’ rise to stardom, the feminist movement’s success was not due to political action or protest marches. Its success can be traced to a group of people who simply spread the word.

In 1968, film editor and feminist Kathie Sarachild brought a new strategy to light. The best way to promote feminism, she found, was to form “consciousness-raising groups.” Small groups women would gather together for annual meetings in which they would each share experiences of “oppression” and discuss common difficulties they faced. One scholar noted, “Feminists agreed that consciousness-raising, or ‘speaking bitterness,’ was the most potent, effective tool in the mobilization of the feminist movement.” (Mary Kassian, The Feminist Mistake)

This should be no surprise. In Proverbs 12:18, Solomon speaks of the tongue’s power: “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Here, Solomon ranks words with an instrument of war. What more piercing weapon exists than the tongue? When it has taken thousands of soldiers to change cities into minefields, fewer words have changed the face of empires.

Yet there is one factor that pulls an ideology into popularity which researchers often miss; ultimately all is controlled to the One causes mouths to open and shut. He is the One who allows a movement (however temporarily) to ignite or fade into the footnotes of history.

While feminism may be a dominant philosophy of our time, in the end “…the Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom He will.” (Daniel 4:32) Perhaps I may live to see this ideology discarded as a new “ism” claims the spotlight, but at the closing of the day, His Word will prevail.

What ignites a dream into a movement, and a movement into a revolution? Feminist researcher Margaret Mead once said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” I would add that all changes have occurred only because God allowed them---and He always has the last word.

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Monday, April 02, 2007

Motherhood by Degrees

I recently came across an archived article by Tim Bayly: Marriage, student debt, and motherhood. He recounts the story of his personal friend, Mrs. Cuffey, who gave up a prestigious graduate degree from Harvard to stay home to support her husband and raise her children. Mr. Bayly asks,
Was this a waste of good intellectual talent? Would those children have been better off—even intellectually—had Mrs. Cuffey completed her graduate work and been awarded the terminal degree?

If we teach our daughters the high calling of motherhood and they take that calling on as their own, it will often lead them to make decisions similar to the one Mrs. Cuffey made. In such cases, certainly their own parents, but also the people of God, must be prepared to provide them fulsome support for any steps they take to decrease, that their husbands and children may increase, especially when those decisions close doors behind which lie prestigious honors and large financial rewards.
Mr. Bayly also shares a quote from Dorothy Patterson's book, Where's mom: The High Calling of Wife and Mother in Biblical Perspective:
Homemaking, if pursued with energy, imagination, and skills, has as much challenge and opportunity, success and failure, growth and expansion, perks and incentives as any corporation, plus something no other position offers—working for people you love most and want to please the most…. Homemaking—being a full-time wife and mother—is not oppressive restraint of intellectual prowess for the community, but a release of wise instruction to your own household; it is …the multiplication of a mother’s legacy to the generations to come and the generous bestowal of all God meant a mother to give to those entrusted to her care.
This is quite a long article that not only covers this topic, but many other related to the choice between college and motherhood. Take peek and come back here to let us know what you think.

(Hat tip: Icky at The Homeschooling Revolution)

Update: Here's an encouraging article on the historical importance of homeschooling mothers from John Glenn Reynolds.

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Saturday, June 24, 2006

Discussions Over Tea

Paul exhorts older Christian women in Titus 2:3-5 to invest in the lives of younger women: "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

In an effort to apply this teaching, several wonderful Christian ladies (including my own mother) have begun a mother-daughter book study. We all meet together once every other week to read a chapter of a book on godly womanhood. Since no gathering would be complete without food, we usually schedule the book study so that we can all share a potluck dinner or "afternoon tea." All the daughters usually pile together on a couch as the mothers sip tea from their armchairs. Someone is nominated to read the chapter aloud, and then discussion inevitably follows.

Although we call this a "book study," we usually end up doing what girls seem to do best--talk. Yet the conversation isn't your normal, light chat. With their Bibles open, our mothers pour out the lessons that they have learned over the years. Sharing their hearts--sometimes tearfully--they recall past experiences and reflect on how God has worked in their lives. These conversations have been instrumental in drawing me ever closer to my mom, which has been a fantastic thing!


(Above: Friends at the book study)

Some of the most precious moments that I can remember have taken place at the book study. I have been amazed to find the very same feelings and struggles that I am going through have been present in the life of my mother or one of the other ladies. I have learned that wisdom gathered from years of growing spiritually is priceless, and I am grateful that these ladies have come together in an effort to pass on this wisdom to their daughters.

Do it Yourself!
Having a mother-daughter book study isn't just a learning experience--it is a lot of fun too! I would highly recommend for you to organize your own book study. Other activities that can be incorporated to make the time even more memorable are scrapbooking, tea time, and crafts. If you have any other great ideas, I'd love to hear them.

Book Suggestions:
  • Stacy McDonald's book, Raising Up Maidens of Virtue was the first book we read together. The questions at the end of each chapter were thoughtfully written and encouraged interesting discussion.
  • This next week we will be starting Girl Talk, by Nicole Whitacre and Carolyn Mahaney. Designed to spark insightful mother-daughter conversations on such subjects as modesty, purity, and true beauty, I know this will be a worthwhile read.

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Friday, May 26, 2006

Don't Believe in Yourself

A re-post from November 28, 2005.

It is not uncommon for people to struggle with insecurity and knowing who they are. A popular "cure" to this insecurity is to, "Believe in yourself,"and "Believe that you can do it." But is this advice something Christians should follow?

It is evident that some Christians are following it. A question was sent to Christian psychologist, Dr. James Dobson, asking, "How can parents prepare their younger children for the assault on self-esteem that is almost certain to come in adolescence? That was a tough time for me, and I want it to be easier for my kids."

Dr. Dobson, a psychologist who is lauded in some circles for his superb "Christian psychological advice" answered with this:

"Well, one important approach is to teach boys and girls valuable skills with which they can compensate in years to come. They can benefit from learning something that will serve as the centerpiece of their self-concept during the difficult years.This would include learning about basketball, tennis, electronics, art, music, or even raising rabbits for fun and profit. It's not so much what you teach your child. The key is that he or she learns something with which to feel good when the whole world seems to be saying, 'Who are you and what is your significance as a human being?'The teenager who has no answer to those questions is left unprotected at a very vulnerable time of life. Developing and honing skills with which to compensate may be one of the most valuable contributions parents can make during the elementary school years. It may even be worth requiring your carefree kid to take lessons, practice, compete and learn something he or she will not fully appreciate for a few more years."

By saying that teens should derive their self esteem from their own talents, knowledge, and abilities, Dr. Dobson seems to be echoing the "Believe in yourself" philosophy. But is this thinking biblical or does it come from secular philosophy?

Secular Humanism, according to the Greek philosopher Protagoras, is a belief that basically states that "man is the measure of all things." Man is considered completely autonomous and self sufficient. Reason, truth, and morality are all dependent on what man decides it to be, for he is "the measure of truth." Following that line of thinking, if a man believes that he can accomplish something (i.e. "Believes in himself") then he can, for man himself decides what is truth. This is directly contrary to the Bible, which not only shows man governed by God, but also reveals man's worthlessness apart from Him.

Abraham revealed the state of all men when he plainly stated, "I am nothing but dust and ashes..." (Gen. 18:27) Likewise, David said, "Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow." (Psalm 144:4) The Preacher of Ecclesiastes says that man's persuits are futile and without value. "I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind." (Ecclessiastes 1:14) With these verses in mind, saying that men should search for their value within is merely the indulgence of pride and folly, for, according to the Bible, man's own merit in and of himself equals zero.

Though man is worth nothing by himself, he has become of unmeasurable value because he is unmeasurably precious to God. God loved man, in spite of man's sinfulness. He sent His Son to take the punishment for sin in our stead, so that we might live. (John 3:16, Romans 6:23) When a person can rest secure in God's value of them, they will no longer need a high esteem of their own talents and knowledge.

Belief in one's own abilities should be called by its rightful name: pride. The encouragement of the belief in one's own abilities is the encouragement of pride, which is sin and leads to destruction.

With all of that said, this whole post could be quickly summed up in the following words: Do not believe in yourself. Believe in God.

Posted by Hannah Beth

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Monday, May 22, 2006

Death or Life: The Power of the Tongue

Have you ever said something, and afterwards immediately wished you could take it back? You know the feeling. All of a sudden, your mind panics—Did I actually just say that?

Not too long ago, I said something inconsiderate to my sister. Seeing that my thoughtless words had wounded her, I thought frantically, "Edit, Undo, Edit, Undo" as though I could simply reverse my words with two clicks of the mouse. Although my initial reaction was somewhat amusing, the truth behind it is not. Unlike a Microsoft Word document, our words cannot be taken back.

Proverbs is full of wisdom regarding our speech. Descriptive metaphors are given to describe the power of our words. In Proverbs 12:18, our words are compared to either “sword thrusts” or “healing”, and Proverbs 18: 21 says that “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” What a picture.

Have you ever heard the saying,“Sticks and stones can hurt my bones, but words will never harm me"? Nothing could be more false. A cruel remark can be just as painful and humiliating as a physical slap on the face! The Bible says that our words can be used to tear each other down, or to build each other up in the Lord. In Ephesians 4:29, we are instructed: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” The purpose for all our words should only be for building each other up, and giving grace to the hearer.

Restraining Our Words
Proverbs 17:27-28: "Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent."

The apostle Peter liked to talk. He was usually the first disciple to speak up and ask questions, or to reply when a question was asked. He was impulsive, rash, and often spoke before he thought. In fact, John MacArthur refers to Peter as "the disciple with the foot-shaped mouth". But the Lord worked in Peter's heart. In the books of 1 & 2 Peter, Peter himself wrote about self-control, humility, and restraining our tongues. 1 Peter 3:9 says, "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." When you're tempted to say something thoughtless, remember this verse— and reply with kindness instead.

Learning how to restrain our words is a difficult task— and one that can only be done with the help of the Lord. Thoughtless remarks slip so easily from our lips, only to be regretted the next moment. Proverbs 10:19 warns, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” We girls love to talk, but we need to consider our words very carefully. “Think before you speak” is advice that I have found very helpful, especially when frustrated or angry.

Most importantly, we need to remember to pray. God will give us the strength and self-control that we need to restrain our tongues. Jesus promised in John 14:13, "Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son." Christ was saying that He will give us anything we ask for that is within His will. And it is certainly God's will for us to have godly, encouraging speech.

Matthew 12:36: "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken."
Posted by Lindsey

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Monday, April 10, 2006

Redeeming the Time

Ten seconds are left in the fourth quarter of the game. You are tied with the other team. There is going to only be one opportunity to score and break the tie. You are your team's last and only hope. The coach shouts at you, "Don't waste the shot!"

We are all each that player, but we play on a more challenging playing field. We are on the playing field of life. We have only one shot at life--and we should not waste it. Yet so often we become caught up in our own responsibilities, ambitions, and the general busy-ness of life that we waste our precious time. It is easy to forget that life has an end, and might finish sooner than we expect.

David reflects on this in Psalms 144:4, "Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow."
He continues on the same theme in Psalm 62:9, "Lowborn men are but a breath, the highborn are but a lie; if weighed on a balance, they are nothing; together they are only a breath."

Life is short, and time is precious. How are you going to spend it? What goals are you going to pursue? Perhaps the better question would be, what goals are worth pursuing?

Priorities: Take a lesson from the dead.
Elizabeth the Great, one of England's most famous rulers, spent her life amassing wealth and power. On her deathbed she stated sadly, "All of my possessions for one moment of time." She realized only too late the truth of Matthew 6:19-21,
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Likewise, Henry, Prince of Wales' last words were, "Tie a rope around my body, pull me out of bed, and lay me in ashes, that I may die with repentant prayers to an offended God. O! I in vain wish for that time I lost with you and others in vain recreations." As is evident from his sorrowful exclamation, Prince Henry discovered that his life spent for pleasure brought him no gain in this life or would in the next.

Napoleon stated soon before his death, "I marvel that where the ambitious dreams of myself and of Alexander and Caesar should have vanished into thin air, a Judean peasant, Jesus, should be able to stretch out His hands across the centuries, and control the destinies of men and nations." Napoleon was arguably one of the greatest military minds in history, though his lust for power caused his downfall. At the end of his life, he was baffled that, for all of his battle plans and military achievements, a "Judean peasant, Jesus," had more power than he had. With regret, it seems that he realized that his life was misspent.

All these people were successful by the World's standards. Elizabeth was wealthy, Henry had fun, and Napoleon chased his dreams. Yet it is apparent that on their deathbeds, each of these people were dissatisfied with how they had spent their lives.
All of these people have since met their Maker, and I wonder if He was as impressed by their "successes" as the World was. In truth, God will ultimately be the One to Judge us (Hebrews 10:30.) He will judge our actions and declare whether or not the time that He gave us was well spent. What does God consider a well spent life? For what purpose does He want us to live?

In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 it says, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
Honoring God involves everything we do. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

It is of no matter how many bestselling books you write, how many hits your blog recieves, how many people know your name, or if you graduate from college with honors. Those things, as important as they may seem today, are all going to eventually fade. The only things we do that will ever matter in eternity are the things we do with the motivation of pleasing God.

Only One Life,
Twill Soon Be Past
Only What's Done
For Christ Will Last
-Anonymous

Sources:
Quotes taken from The Evidence Bible, by Ray Comfort

Related Reading:
Matthew 25
One Heartbeat Away, by Mark Cahill
Don't Waste Your Life, by John Piper


(Feel like you have read this before? No, you're not going crazy. ;-) This is a re-post from my former blog, Sold Out, which is no longer being updated.)

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