Appreciating Blindness

Finding God's will is humbling and requires faith. Is it shameful to spend a season waiting on the Lord? Is that waiting season ever in vain?

There is an elderly woman I have heard of but never met. "Ellie" rises each morning and waits on her front porch for the arrival of her friend, another elderly woman. Together they sit while her friend reads aloud from the Holy Writ. At the end of the Bible passage, hands are extended and eyes are closed in prayer, as the ladies commit the day to doing the Lord's will. Ellie is blind.

Yesterday, a friend mentioned how she wishes to have a calling in her life, but she's still clueless what God wants. What can a girl do, except cast her talents out like bait? It's not much; in fact, it's a pretty helpless and pathetic state in which to exist. Waiting, waiting, fishing for a future; waiting for bait to be bitten and God to reveal His will through opening a door. My friend is blind too; not in the same physical sense as Ellie, but she feels like she's groping around in the dark.

Both Ellie and my friend are in an unglamorous situation. Neither is self-sufficient. God must be sought continually for another ration of rest and sustenance. Would anyone envy them?

A state of being like Laodicea's is generally thought more agreeable. A shining symbol of self-confidence, Laodicea was a church that could stand on its own two feet. God called the church to task for its stubborn independence: "For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked." (Rev. 3:17) How the rebuke must have smarted--and that from the Maker of the universe.

I think I share a lot in common with that place. Freethinking, I can whip up future plans like no other. (Some would re-term "freethinking" in this context as "folly.") Unlike Ellie and my friend, I have my life figured out. My future plans are in the bag. Determining for sure that those plans are truly for my best and the best for God's Kingdom is another matter entirely. I don't have that kind of discernment.

Obviously, there is something lacking in a Laodicea mentality. The key is not that God wants a to live without purpose. Without a clear plan, getting lost is easier than you think. My family proved this point a few years ago, as we circled Memphis for the fourth time, exiting toward the ramp we thought led to Texas, finding ourselves in Mississippi and wishing we'd never stepped foot in Tennessee in the first place. Phew. If that happened in the space of only a few hours, how much worse could happen traveling through life with no planned route or destination? It's a scary thought. Having some kind of plan is smart. Although a detailed daytimer to guide us to our 70th birthday is probably unnecessary, an idea of the skills God wants us to develop is helpful.

Yet before the life planning happens, is it wrong to have a season of deciding, where we try to discover God's will? Is it shameful to be compelled to wait in perfect simplicity--in blind trust--for God? It feels shameful. It's humiliating (and humbling.) Worse yet, it's frightening. I don't envy Ellie's blindness or my friend's. Their respective situations require faith. But I am confident, as they are, that waiting on the Lord is never in vain.
While Laodicea experienced true spiritual blindness due to pride, Ellie and my friend simply appear blind. In reality, their eyes are being opened to a deeper level of trust in Christ. They are resting in the fact that the Giver of Sight will one day show them a wider view. That doesn't sound like blindness to me.

Corrie ten Boom wrote, "Never fear to trust an unknown future to a known God." What is more, Christ said, "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden." (Matthew 5:14) Although these two people may feel purposeless and their waiting may seem futile, they may yet achieve a higher purpose: glorifying God by becoming radiant beacons of selfless trust. That's not so bad, is it?

Anti-Senioritis Prescription

Observe the average highschool graduating female. Her life is not a simple one. Twelve months ago, she was a carefree junior. Now with graduation looming on her horizon, she's trying to finish her studies and highschool commitments with the same amount of enthusiasm as when she started. Geometry, Government and Geography.... she tries to grin and bear it. On top of her studies, she's fighting to stay immune from senioritis.

Senioritis is one of those rampant diseases ignored by the World Health Organization. Victims' symptoms include apathy, lack of ambition or vision, and an acute desire for entertainment rather than hard work. The average highschool graduating female is prime for contracting this disease.

Then calculate the holiday season into the picture. The aftermath of Thanksgiving includes more than excessive tryptophan. Graduating females also must grapple with post-holiday stress caused by well-meaning questioners about her future: "Do you have any plans for college?" "Have you decided on a major?" "Are you going to get a job?" "Are you going to live at home?" "When are you going to start dating?" "Do you have a special someone?" This seventeen, eighteen or nineteen year old female is now expected to come up with answers to these life-altering questions.

What's a girl to do?

While we don't know exactly what questions you may be facing, here's some wisdom we've gleaned that we hope will help you out:



Decision-Making

Carole Mayhall, in her book, Come Walk With Me, is writing specifically to women who are pondering whether to work outside the home. However, her advice on decision-making can be applied to a plethora of situations:

"May I (gently) suggest that when a wife and mother--one who is serious about obeying God--asks, 'Should I work outside the home?' she is asking the wrong question. The first question a woman should ask is not, 'Do we need the money?' Neither is it, 'Can I pursue a career at the same time as being a homemaker?' nor, 'Will it be fulfilling and something I want to do?' Often if the answer is yes to these questions, she plunges ahead. Instead, she should ask, 'Is this God's will for my life?'
You may be thinking, but doesn't God lead through circumstances? Sometimes, but not always or primarily. God leads mainly through His Word (Psalm 119:105), through peace of heart (Philippians 4:6-7), and through the counsel of other people (Proverbs 15:22). If circumstances line up with the direction you get from these three primary channels, then they're an added bonus and may help you be assured of what God's will really is."

And what about our feelings? How much should we depend on our emotions to guide our choices? Nancy Leigh DeMoss wrote in Lies Women Believe,

"The Truth is that, due to our fallen condition, our feelings often have very little to do with reality. In many instances, feelings are simply not a reliable gauge of what is actually true. When we allow them to be tied to our circumstances--which are constantly changing--rather than the unchangeable realities of God and His Truth, our emotions are prone to fluctuate wildly... If we want to walk in freedom, we must realize that our emotions are not necessarily trustworthy and be willing to reject any feelings that are not consistent with the Truth."

What About My Dreams?

Everybody has dreams for the future. The world tells us to "dream big" and chase after what we want until it becomes ours. However, the danger with dreams is that they're often "me-centered;" they tend to revolve around me wanting to "become great" and not God's glory. Pride grows in dreams like mold on old cheese.
In response to dreams, think about C.J. Mahaney's thoughts on pride from is book, Humility:

"[Jesus said,] 'But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all.' (vv.43-44).
We always want to pay careful attention when that word must appears in Scripture. 'Must' points us to something that's required, something that's indispensable. 'You want to be great?' Jesus is saying. 'Well, here's what has to happen. What's required is that you become a servant to others; it means nothing less than becoming the slave of everyone.' .... A profound and historic reversal is taking place here--one that has to occur in each of our lives if we're to have any possibility of becoming truly great in God's eyes.... [We become truly great by] serving others for the glory of God."

God-honoring dreams for the future stem from a heart solely focused on serving others and spreading God's fame.

Have you received wisdom from godly counselors about decision-making, or have you found any Scripture passages to be particularly helpful in this area? Please share it with us!

Back to School Blues?

A reader wrote....

What do you think about careers for women? Should a girl even be considering college or a job, or should she just stay at home? And if a career is all right, how far is too far from her dad's protection? Should she still live with him, or is it okay to move out? I'm pretty mixed up about this, because my parents seem to be just fine with me going to college someday (at least one nearby), but I'm reading So Much More by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin, and they seem to believe that it isn't good for a girl to be away from her father's covering like that. I just want to know what your opinion is. Thanks!

To be honest, when we read your email we were rather intimidated. The questions you addressed are very difficult to answer. So Much More and the Botkin sisters are very well respected in the conservative Christian community and we would not wish to assail them in any way. (They are, after all, our sisters in Christ.)

After discussing this with our parents, we decided that although we aren't qualified to answer your questions with our own opinions, but we can only humbly point to Scripture. In everything pertaining to life and godliness, God's Word holds the key. Yet in some matters where the Bible does not speak clearly, we must follow personal convictions. This is true regarding whether or not a girl must stay under her father's roof until marriage.

Some literature and voices in the Christian community are dogmatic that remaining under the roof of her father is essential for all godly young women. However, there is no hard and fast rule in the Bible that declares this to be true. We do know that a girl can leave her father's roof for a time, as Mary did in her visit to Elizabeth and Zachariah (Luke 1:39-40). But no clear Biblical precedent is set on this issue.

On the other hand, in the area of whether or not women should work outside the home, we do believe a Biblical pattern has been made. Titus 2 clearly states that women should be keepers at home, while in Proverbs 31, the "wife of excellence" is busily at work. What few realize is these two roles are not mutually exclusive; there is no rule concerning how many hours a woman must remain in the home before she becomes a "keeper at home." A woman does not need to be at home 24/7 to obey Titus 2. In fact, the Proverbs 31 woman seems to indicate that it is permissible for women to work, at least part-time, outside the home. In light of Proverbs 31, should we then become career women?

When we think of a "career woman," we think of someone whose chief goal is to climb the corporate ladder. She leaves her family in the morning and doesn't return until night in the hopes of receiving a promotion or achieving some personal goal. But when looking at the Proverbs 31-type working woman, we get an entirely different picture. It is not that her profession is any different from the career woman, but her motivation is. Her motivation is to help her household by supplementing her husband's income. She loves the home so much, she sacrifices time and effort for its benefit.

"She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant. " (Proverbs 31:24)

"She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard." (Proverbs 31:16)

Higher education for women is not sinful. A woman can attend college and be living in accordance with God's will or she can attend college and be living in disobedience. It's not the degree itself that can be sinful; it's the heart behind it. If college attendance is clearly outside God's will for you, then it would be wrong to disobey and attend anyway. But if you are led to attend college and your parents consent, then no Bible verses indicate that this would be wrong.

One common argument for women and higher education is the question: "What if your husband dies? How will you provide for your family?" Supposedly, a college degree is like a safety belt. It's nice to have "just in case." But this perspective reveals a poor view of the sovereignty of God, and is the wrong motivation for a college degree. If you were ever to be faced with widowhood without having attended college, of one thing you could be certain: God would never leave you nor forsake you (Joshua 1:5). Although it may be easier to depend on one's own abilities by getting a "just in case" degree, as Christians we are supposed to trust in God Himself to guide our footsteps. (In light of the fact that He knows all, how can we not trust Him?)

The Bible does say that we are to honor our father and mother. If you are wondering whether or not you should leave the home, ask your parents! Endeavor to honor them in this area. If your father says to stay home, then stay home! If your father says you can leave, then follow the Lord's leading.

We hope that God will grant you wisdom in this area, so you'll know what path to pursue.

God bless!
In Christ,
Hannah, Kristin and Lindsey