Thursday, September 04, 2008
5 Reasons for Modesty (Part Four)
Remember the Cross.
There is no better source of motivation to be faithful than the Cross of Christ. While on the Cross, Christ demonstrated the ultimate self-sacrificial love. He dragged Himself bleeding, bruised, with skin slashed open in dozens of places by the crack of a whip onto a hill--to be executed. Out of love. 1 Peter 2:21 says "For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you might follow in His steps."
Now consider—immodesty may feel benign to you, but it tempts your brothers in Christ to lust. This lust sticks in their mind, soiling their thought life and providing a literal physical, mental and spiritual struggle to gain control. These lustful thoughts distract and handicap their walk with the Lord.
As someone who is called to follow Christ self-sacrificially, following in His footsteps, what do you think the lovingest plan of action would be toward your brother? Toeing the line of decency? Waving temptation in front of his eyes? Or would it be placing his interests first, at regardless the toll it may take on personal vanity?
I know it's easy to forget. We've all made mistakes in the past in this area. But by God's grace, keeping our eyes on the Cross, we'll find the motivation to conquer our self interest and look out for the other guy. With this grace in mind, too, the battle of the will becomes only a toy-soldier skirmish.
Labels: modesty
Monday, September 01, 2008
5 Reasons For Modesty (Part Three)
Grab Your Stethoscope.If choosing the modest outfit was a really, really, really tough decision, you may want to stop. And think. Grab your stethoscope and conduct a heart-check. What made doing the right thing so difficult? Perhaps it was hard because it was yet another battle with the flesh. Or, could it have been because you’ve been harboring in your heart a need to be noticed?
Consider, have you been reminded recently of God’s love for you as shown in the Gospel, and meditated on that love? Or have your thoughts been occupied with other inferior loves? Have you reminded yourself that the reason you’re even alive is to glorify your Maker, and nothing (including clothes) should stand in the way of His being glorified?
Please don’t take this as pointing fingers. I’m not trying to diagnose the heart problems of others. I’m only speaking of what I’ve learned from my own; and any moment when the flesh raises its ugly head is a prime occasion for some heart searching.
Is There More To You Than Meets the Eye?
Modesty says “yes.” It shows that there’s a deeper fiber in the girl than a yearning for attention, and more individuality than a need to accept each and every trend that bares itself on the runway. Modesty reflects that there are higher things than vanity on the priority list of the wearer.
And a lack of modesty reveals, well, more than just skin. It’s indicative of the heart. That is not to say that some girls are not naïve and need to learn about modesty, or simply need to remain vigilant in their clothing choices; but to those who know what is right and do otherwise-- that’s sin (according to James 4:17). And sin doesn’t start suddenly. It grows as an outshoot of our choices and thought-life. This begs the question, is that really what I want to communicated to others by what I'm wearing? And what about God?
Miss part 1 or 2? Oh, and be sure to catch the last part of this series, here.
Labels: modesty
Friday, August 29, 2008
5 Reasons For Modesty
Choose Modesty. It Lasts Longer.So, swallowing your conscience, you chose to wear the top that sticks just a teensy bit too close to your curves. The day is over. The top is in the laundry. What did you gain?
When I’ve stubbornly worn something in spite of the nagging feeling that it was immodest, at the end of the day, I haven’t been a bit better off than if had I worn something else. In fact, I’m worse off, because now I’m awash with conviction over thumbing my nose at the Holy Spirit.
In other words, disobedience doesn’t pay. While the pleasure may last for just a moment, when we receive some desired attention or like how the clothes accentuate us, the moment is fleeting.
Did Anyone Care?
I remember reading somewhere the words of a wise lady. She said that her husband advised her not to fuss over the approval of people: “Don’t worry about what others think, because honestly, they don’t think about you.” It’s true, and slightly embarrassing. How often have I fretted over the opinion of someone else, when I probably barely flitted passed their radar?
How long do you think others will be impressed by a particularly attractive, immodest set of clothes? Will they remember how good your body looked next month, or even next week? Not likely—unless it’s the kind of lustful image you don’t want sticking in someone’s mind. So what exactly is the benefit of dressing against our consciences, again anyway? It’s hard to remember.
Read the rest of the series here.
Labels: modesty
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Isn’t it funny how often one can read about modesty-- and still collide with a clothes conundrum? You know--a moment when the “what to wear” question jumps from inconsequential to spiritually impacting. At first, when you were getting dressed for the party, you thought you were just picking an outfit from the closet. Now it’s turned into an all-out battle of the will. Your head-knowledge of what’s modest is in to-the-death combat with your affection for that “really cute top.” Who will emerge victorious?
Before continuing one word further, it’s imperative to be on the same page. Modesty is important. To every woman. In every culture. At every age. For in each of these settings, modesty is the picture frame that best illuminates the beauty of womanhood. As Oscar Wilde wrote, "No object is so beautiful, that under certain conditions, it will not look ugly." Immodest womanhood takes the attention from the radiating beauty of character, to an obscene vandalizing of the body where the focus becomes, well, carnal. It destructs (or at least, distracts from) beauty.
Regardless of how some personal approaches to modesty may be legalistic, frumpy, or otherwise distasteful, 1 Timothy 2:9 couldn’t be clearer: “…women should adorn themselves…with modesty.” With that said, the question is not whether modesty should be applied. The question is “are we applying it?”
This matter of clothes runs a bit deeper than mere fabric and skin. As not only common sense (in the words of others, "modesty honors beauty,") but as a Christian principle, modesty ought not be tossed aside as out-dated or culturally irrelevant. Choosing modesty involves a cataclysmic war currently being waged between the “new man” of a Christian and the old “fleshly self.” This is a spiritual issue.
What do I mean? We're born with a natural desire to be selfish--to make a mad dash for attention at any opportunity. When we repent of our sins and fall completely upon Jesus Christ for our redemption, we're changed. We're transformed into a new being on account of God’s forgiveness. But look out! Our flesh (sinful nature) isn’t far away. In fact, it is still latched onto our heels like a rabid puppy.
It is exactly as Paul said in Romans 7:14-15: “For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”
As Kris Lundgaard wrote, “Indwelling sin works like this—enticing, threatening, even bullying. So Paul calls it a law to get us to see that it is powerful even in the lives of believers and that it constantly works to press us into its evil mold.” So are we free from sin? Lundgaard explained it well: “[Christ] has overthrown its rule, weakened its power, and even killed its root, so that it cannot bear the fruit of eternal death in a believer.”
Still, sin is near. We’re faced with it daily, and the temptation to immodesty is no exception. We sometimes wonder, is it really that big of a deal? In the midst of intense rationalization and arguing with ourselves, it doesn’t seem important. But modesty is a command, and by the very nature of being a command, it ought to take priority.
So what’s a girl to do when she’s confronted with an outfit she likes, but knows she shouldn’t wear? How does one make the right choice? When faced with such a moment of decision, I hope these points will be an encouragement to you...
Watch for the second part to this post, "5 Reasons for Modesty."
Labels: modesty
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Modesty and the Cross
"Ten minutes until we leave for church, everyone!" Emma heard the voice of her dad down the hallway from her bedroom. She heaved a sigh as she held up a skirt to the mirror. It was her favorite white skirt, but she hadn't worn it since last summer. She was delighted to find it in the back of the closet that morning, but disappointed when she tried it on.
Emma had grown several inches taller since the skirt's last debut and now it fell several inches above her knee. Standing up, it appeared to be modest, but sitting down, she knew it showed too much.Just the same, she fought with the idea of setting the skirt aside. Short skirts were in style, and this one was particularly flattering. Besides, the outfit would still be more concealing than most clothes these days. Staring into the mirror, Emma asked herself aloud, "Why not?"
Modesty is a never simply an option. The Bible gives us little room for doubt on that note: "Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control." (1 Timothy 2:9) And all Christians are told not to do anything that would tempt brethren to sin. With immodesty inevitably being an advertisement for lust, the command is clear-cut. If we want to obey God, we have no other recourse.
Still, when that shirt hangs just a little too well on us, or that pair of jeans flatteringly hugs our frame, we begin rationalizing. We think that compared to others, we're still modest. It isn't a big deal. When we're not sure if it completely fits the 1 Timothy 2:9 category or not, we push the question to the back of our minds and wear it anyway. I know the steps of rationalizing because I've walked through them myself, more often than I feel comfortable admitting. Why do we do this? Deep in our gut, we know it's wrong. Why does sin still appear so irresistible?
Because we haven't spent enough time remembering.
Every time I look with one eye on the Cross and another on my own sin, I run out of words trying to describe the wonder of it. The realization that those sins are no more because of His blood is staggering. It's like remembering something precious you forgot; or waking up from the dream that felt like reality, only to collide into genuine, blazing life. I want to touch those boards, splintered by His nails, and know they're mine. They were meant to be mine. God took them instead. Exquisite pain paid for the sins I commit, committed and will commit. How can I move on from this?Unfortunately, we don't stare at the Cross long enough. When the question of modesty comes up, we toss reservation in the trash. We forget the cost of sin. We forget how serious our offenses are to a Holy God. By moving on from the Cross, we belittle the opinion of God. We let the world gain a foothold in our lives.
Emma's predicament has been my own many times over; but that does not lessen the seriousness of it. Just as every other area of our lives, modesty needs to be brought under the dominion of Christ. And when fighting to surrender, it helps to remember the Cross.
"Take away my roving eye, curious ear, greedy appetite, lustful heart;
show me that none of these things can heal a wounded conscience,
or support a tottering frame,
or uphold a departing spirit.
Then take me to the cross
and leave me there." (The Valley of Vision)
Labels: modesty
Monday, September 24, 2007
Being Elizabeth In A Lydia World
Allow me to step on my literary soapbox for a moment. There are few books I really love, and even less of which I think well. The more I read in the literary world, the more I am dissatisfied with it. Too many pages are not worth the paper they’re printed on.Pride and Prejudice is one of the few chick-lit books I feel comfortable reading. It is a truth universally acknowledged that Jane Austen’s work is a classic of gigantic proportions. Countless writers have quoted Austen and attempted to mimic her style (as I unashamedly do now.)
However, it is not her style that brings me back for more Pride and Prejudice. The characters are what catch my imagination—notably that of Elizabeth Bennett. She’s been dubbed the best female character ever penned, but I think I’ve stumbled onto an overlooked truth about Miss Elizabeth: she is incomplete. It wasn’t
A “foil” is a literary term meaning, “One that by contrast underscores or enhances the distinctive characteristics of another.” A foil is a character possessing traits that are opposite from the main character, therefore illuminating the main character’s fine qualities.
What immortal Jane Austen character have we forgotten? None other than
To some, “modesty” is another antiquated word from Austen’s era. To others, it may be commonly used but rarely understood. Properly defined, modesty is the special combination of unpretentiousness and discretion; it is a desire not to draw undue attention to self. Chew for a minute on what Webster’s 1828 states:
“…modesty springs no less from principle than from feeling, and is manifested by retiring, unobtrusive manners, assuming less to itself than others are willing to yield, and conceding to others are all due honor and respect, or even more than they expect or require….In females, modesty has the like character as in males; but the word is used also as synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners. In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle.”
What makes Elizabeth Bennett so special? Compared to her sister’s immodesty, we admire her self-control. She’s characterized by quiet good sense—not a desire to be noticed. Therefore, we notice her.
The contrast between
Note: No, that deja-vu feeling doesn't mean you're crazy. This is a revised post from 2006.
Labels: modesty
Monday, September 17, 2007
We Were Innocent Once...And Young
“Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.” That’s a bit of homespun wisdom the Gold Coast Fashion Week might have benefited from hearing before choosing Maddison Gabriel, a twelve year old model to represent the Australian fashion event. Job requirements include a willingness to don some skimpy gowns, which has sent child protection advocates in uproar. The Prime Minister himself responded in indignation, stating “There should be age limits, I mean there has to be, we do have to preserve some notion of innocence in our society.” The girl-model insists otherwise. "I believe that I can fit into women's clothes, I can model women's clothes, so I should be able to do it.” Maddison declared adamantly, "I'm not going to change my dreams. I know I want to be an international model. All this fuss is just silly."
Her mother, Michelle Gabriel, shared her daughter’s opinion. "I believe the Prime Minister is getting very doddery.” She elaborated, "He does not know exactly what 13 and 14-year-old girls are like. I used to vote for him. We're trying to get our teenage daughters to act older. I am so happy that I've got a daughter who has got a good head on her shoulders."
- Do you think there’s a difference between acting older and losing one’s innocence? Where is the line drawn between the two? (Parents, it would be wonderful to hear your perspective as well.)
Quotations and photograph of Ms. Gabriel courtesy of The Daily Mail and The Herald Sun.
Monday, July 30, 2007
It's tough being a model. Hours of smiling practice, sessions with makeup artists and designers, and bottles of chill pills are required before that fateful traipse down the runway. Her burden is heavy. Although the outfit technically belongs to the designer, it's the model's job to sell it. Will the reporters hail her clothes as quirky or creative? The most imaginative design or faux-pas of the year? Dozens of cameras flash. She must now ignore the little blue spots in her eyes and navigate the return route down the runway, all while flaunting fifteen inch heels. On top of all the stress, she can't even eat. Oh, the pressure...
I'm a model, too, only without the paparazzi. From my position, the easy thing is to criticize other models for their influence: "Why are they popular while I'm...well...me? If I had their position, I'd do a better job of it."
I'm sure you can sympathize, as you've probably met one too; a dynamic model with that special talent to influence people. They're trendsetters. While legend tells of everything King Midas touched turning to gold, everything that person touches becomes hip. Don't ever try solving a disagreement with them by an election. They'll win the popular vote.
You've probably guessed by now that I'm not just referring to fashion models. Attitudes, word choice and even posture can be trends spread by others. We're creatures who love mimicry; some people simply have that special "zing" which causes us to admiringly imitate them. They're unconscious leaders, natural models.
In the past I've looked at friends who meet this criteria and mentally "tsk-ed" them. Can't they see how much influence they possess? Can't they see how many adoring eyes look to them for cues? "Popularity isn't just a fluke; it is gift with a purpose. Trendsetters have the responsibility to spread the right trend," I rant. Who knows how many people have been negatively influenced by bad leaders?
Inwardly I trade places with my friends and imagine how the world would be a better place if such popularity were mine. Yet if I only glanced over my shoulder I would see the face of my little sister. With one self conscious eye on herself and the other fixed on me, I have an audience too.
John Donne was on the right track when he wrote, "No man is an island, entire of itself. Each is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less." He was dreaming about death at the time; how each death affects humanity as a whole, but the principle applies to the living too. While it's easy to leave the job of role modeling to those with magnetic personalities, no man is an island. Every foot, big or small, leaves a print for others to follow.
1 Timothy 4:12 is so often quoted to prove that "youth matter" to the church: "Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." It's pleasant to consider how much influence my actions carry, but I squirm at the command to "set the believers an example." I like being important. I just don't like being responsible for the consequences.
Like it or not, I am a trendsetter. Just as every fashion model to ever strut the runway, I impact the minds of others by what I wear. Am I an example of modesty? Or have I gotten lazy in picking my clothes?
In a way, I possess the power of a radio station in miniature. People hear what I'm saying, flippant words and all. What values am I broadcasting? What words am I using? Will others feel free to gossip if I do it? Am I a walking example of the beauty which comes from the heart?
And the hardest of all--am I being a model of love?
I want to ponder this more often; for instance, in the next five minutes when I run downstairs, maybe I'll bump into my sister. Perhaps she'll ask me to play with her. She might even ask for my help. Then, I'll need to react purposefully.
After all, it's my runway.
Labels: beauty, Biblical womanhood, modesty, role models
Friday, March 23, 2007
Hanging Up on "No Hang Up's"
“Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!” the blond woman shouted into the microphone. Her tight shirt crept farther upward as her right hand shot into the air, wholly unveiling a swollen pregnant stomach. I struggled to keep my jaw from dropping open.
Was it just my Middle American sensibilities showing through—my Bible belt upbringing? Guilt flashed through my mind. Who was I to disapprove of her clothing? Was I being judgmental? Her purpose on stage was to reach the lost for Christ, yet at the same time, I wonder if the woman knew how much more she was communicating, beyond “Praise the Lord.”
When visiting
But this brings one to wonder, how does modesty relate to Christians from other backgrounds? A friend of mine once asked a relative from
In my observation, many who choose to dress modestly do so that their “freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.” (1 Cor. 8:9) This is an admirable, Biblical pursuit. But I believe if all of the guys on earth were blind, unfeeling, and devoid of all visual “hang-ups,” there would still be a need for modesty. Why?
God desires it of us. “I desire then….that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness--with good works.” (1 Tim. 2:8-10. Italics mine.)
These verses are not banning jewelry, but highlighting the heart. In his sermon, “The Soul of Modesty,” C.J. Mahaney said, “Your wardrobe is a public statement of your personal and private motivation.” If humility and worshipping God is given first priority, our clothing choices will naturally reflect that.
This perspective changes the situation, doesn’t it? Instead of dressing according to the "hang ups" of those around us, we’re choosing our clothes carefully as a form of worship to the God of the universe. Instead of being accountable to men for our actions, we are accountable to God for our hearts.
For women professing godliness, whether in
Monday, August 07, 2006
Your Epidermis is Showing!
(Part 2)
"Ten minutes until we leave for church, everyone!" Emma Jones heard the voice of her dad down the hallway from her bedroom. She heaved a sigh as she held up a skirt to the mirror. It was her favorite blue skirt, but she had not worn it since last summer. She had been delighted to find it in the back of the closet that morning, but disappointed when she tried it on.
Emma had grown several inches taller since she had last worn the skirt, making the skirt several inches above her knee. Standing up, it still appeared to be modest, but sitting down, she knew that it showed too much.
Still, she fought with the idea of not wearing it. Short skirts were in style, and this one was particularly flattering. Besides, she would be seeing Nathan Davis at church. His family had recently joined Emma's church, and ever since he came the girls had been flocking around him. Every time Emma was around the group, she felt painfully "un-cool."
Staring into the mirror, Emma asked herself aloud, "Why not?"
____________
As I hope I established in my last post, immodesty is rampant among young women of the world. This is not unexpected. After all, John 15:19 clearly states that the world hates things of God, and will act contrary to His teachings: "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated Me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you."
Unfortunately, many Christians have chosen to be like the rest of the world in their opinions on modesty. I remember when a professing Christian woman said, upon being confronted concerning her and her daughter's clothing choices, "We just don't do the modesty thing." But as young ladies who are daughters of the Most High King, we have been called to something greater than the world. We have been called to be set apart as the pure and blameless Bride of Christ. We are called "to dress modestly, with decency and propriety." (1 Timothy 2:9) We have been called to "do the modesty thing."
Some argue that modesty is a prudish behavior adopted only by legalistic Christians and conflicts with the liberty found in Christ. But Christian liberty is clearly not a viable excuse for leading others into temptation. As it says in 1 Corinthians 8:9, "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak."
Dressing provocatively does just what the word suggests--it provokes sexual temptation and lust. For Christian men who are dedicated to pleasing Christ, immodest clothing is an assault on the eyes. Although it is the responsibility of Christian men to guard their eyes from temptation, we, as Christian ladies should not make it difficult for them. If we love our brothers in Christ the way that Philippians tells us to love, doing nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, and looking not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:3,4) then would we dress immodestly? Would we dress in a way that might lead our brothers in Christ into temptation, and in lure them to draw away from Christ? If our goal is to please Christ, we should dress in a way that is considerate of others, even at the expense of being in style.
You may have wondered what Emma Jones chose to wear to church, but I am not sure. You see, Emma Jones is not only a made-up character. She is every one of us, faced with the choice of what to wear. We can each shrug off the decision as "what everyone is doing" or we can choose to honor our Savior with quiet obedience.
The choice is yours.
Labels: modesty
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