Meeting God in a Dark Alley

“When you are weak, you are strong!” My eyes starting fuzzing out as Charity grabbed my hands and squeezed them. When you are weak, you are strong. The words reverberated in my head as I walked past the judges, smiling at the blurring shape of their faces in my eyes. What did it mean exactly? I was certainly weak. My legs felt bendy like licorice and I couldn’t remember what month it was, let alone formulate a winning impromptu speech. I should’ve worn my glasses, because I could barely see anything. How was it possible for me to be strong at the moment?

It doesn't take a legal adult to experience troubles. I'm seventeen, and I have seen just enough to understand that life isn't always berries and cream. Although the example of my impromptu round is admittedly insignificant compared to other struggles, its a small slice of the kind of obstacles that humble us every day and convince us of our own insufficiency.

I wonder, why does God sometimes lead us through moments where we feel overcome by weakness? As we watch other Christians skip blithely through fields of daisies, facing a life with little or no obstacles, we can feel that God has dumped us in a dark alley. As small as it seems compared to the troubles of others, why does He put me in an impromptu room with blurry vision? It feels so pointless.

Let The Real Sufferers Stand Up

My weakness is insignificant when considered alongside the problems others face. For instance, my friend Stephanie is directing a documentary on the life and ministry of Nick Vujicic. Born without limbs, Nick struggles to complete tasks most of us can finish in an instant. And guess what? His situation will not change in his lifetime. He can't look forward to one day finding a cure to his problems. On the surface, he has no reason for hope.

Elisabeth was also bombarded by weakness. Restrained from marrying the man she loved as he sought direction from God for over a year, she wondered at the indescribable ache in her heart. In her diary she copied down a prayer of Amy Carmichael's, struggling to find perseverance in her journey:

"'If I make much of anything appointed, magnify it secretly to myself or insidiously to others; if I let them think it 'hard,' if I look back longingly upon what used to be, and linger among the byways of memory, so that my power to help is weakened, then I know nothing of Calvary love.'" Then Elisabeth prayed herself, "Dear Lord, Thou alone knowest the inmost workings of my mind and heart. Keep the level of my love in Christ--never lower. Thou hast said, 'Neither are my ways your ways.' Help me to walk in Thine, Lord, in peace." (Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity.)

Some say that because Christ carried our sorrows, we will have no more suffering on earth. Any pain we experience on earth is unexplainable in their theology. But what about Nick’s struggles? How can we ignore the cries of Elisabeth in her time of loneliness and waiting? How can we explain Paul’s vision problems and the unnamed ‘thorn in the side’ that he experienced throughout the course of his life? How can we say that Christ took our sufferings when these Christians have suffered so?

Christ’s death didn’t remove human weakness from the Christian life. Rather, God allows the weakness of His children to be revealed for a purpose. While my impromptu anxiety wasn’t real suffering, it was a wake up call to cry out to the Creator of the Universe for strength. It was a humbling revelation of inadequacy. It was a situation that pulled me from my high horse and caused me to fall on Christ for grace to get through.

And that's exactly the point. The situations when our inadequacy is exposed are meant to lead to further trust: “Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.” (1 Peter 4:19)

He Is Our ________

Hope. Strength. Joy. Fill the above blank with any of these words and they’ll fit. God doesn't promise us perfect bliss on earth, but He does give us something better. In the face of struggles--whether it's believing God will help in weaving through a traffic jam or entrusting to Him delicate matters of the heart--rest can be found in His unfailing love.

King David said something funny in Psalm 63. After crying out that his life was like a “dry and weary land where there is no water,” he wrote that he'd continue praising God because “because Your lovingkindness is better than life." That's pretty unusual. While David didn't mince words describing his situation, he had found a higher source of joy than just his circumstances. Interestingly enough, the people I have met who are closest to God are the ones who have met Him in the dark alleys of life; because they learned that His lovingkindness, even in darkness, was better than living in daisy covered fields without His Presence.

And yet, those who travel through dark alleys aren't left there forever. Sufferers in the big and the small have a promise: "And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong..." (1 Peter 5:10) Will we ever be made strong? Will we be healed? Maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but one day, it's certain we will. And our Healer will be the God who does all things well.

The Dark, Scary, Spider-Infested Forest of Your Future

My little sister Audrey slipped her hand into mine. "Let's play the game!" she said. With a wide grin, she squeezed her eyes shut. "Lead me!" Hand in hand, we wove through the crowded mall—I with my eyes wide open, she relying on my direction. Then it happened. In spite of my expert leading (I can assure you that the fault was not mine), Audrey brushed a stranger. Instantly, her eyes flew open. "Lindsey!" she scolded, withdrawing her hand quickly. "You are not leading anymore."

As I thought back over Audrey's reaction, I realized that I play the game similarly. Except, I play with God.

With an excited, eager smile, I'll slip my hand into His, and cry "Lead me!" in childlike delight. For a while, all is well. But as soon as the terrain begins to alter, I crack open an eye to take a peek.

Oh boy. I wish I hadn't. One of the paths ahead is riddled with pot-holes and leads straight into the heart of a forest. Dark trees crowd all around, obscuring my view-- and it's infested with ugly little spiders, no doubt! Naturally, I start to protest. (Just in case.)

By the way... ah, if You're starting to get any ideas, when I said that I wanted You to lead me, I didn't mean that You could ever lead me there, Lord. Just thought you should know.

I've seen Him take other people down rough roads before. They learn contentment and joy in suffering. Which is great, of course... for them. Panicking, my instinctive reaction is to yank my hand away when I start thinking in "what-ifs".

Look here, Lord, I've got this incredible blue-print for my life-- see?-- and it involves serving You this way, this way, and this way. I've thought about it extensively, and these are very good, God-glorifying plans. Listen, You can still lead me, and that's just fine, but only if I'm the one giving directions here. I really, really don't get along that well with spiders.

We all know the feelings of uncertainty and fear that invade our hearts as we wonder about what the future will hold. Questions roll in like the black plague: Where will God take me? What does He want from my life? Will the Almighty snatch away my dreams of happiness, to glorify Himself and teach me contentment? Ah! Noo!

The health, wealth, and prosperity-centered gospel confidently asserts that God will lovingly grant us everything we desire, but we know that He doesn't. The lady in my church, awaiting her diagnosis for a medical condition, knows that He doesn't. The young girl in Cambodia, sold into slavery at five, knows that He doesn't. The single woman, longing for marriage and a family, knows that He doesn't. The dear lady I talked with yesterday, whose husband left her last month for another, knows that He doesn't. We Christians don't lead lives any more charmed than the rest of the world.

Our futures will hold elements that you and I wouldn't exactly volunteer for. We're going to have troubles, and we're going to have heartache. That is a guarantee. We live in a fallen world; how could it be otherwise? But there are two things that we must always remember when we're staring fearfully at our potential forests-- and when we're walking straight through them.

Sovereign Isn't Enough

First, it is insufficient to simply know that God is sovereign. His complete, perfect sovereignty is the most comforting truth in existence, but only when it is coupled with intimate knowledge of another facet of His character: His goodness.

Our God is not a cruel, unjust tyrant, manipulating circumstances in our lives to inflict us with torment and make us miserable. He is good. We don't deserve it and can't explain it, but He is. Though our circumstances will vacillate, His goodness will never alter.

"Which of you," Jesus asked, "If his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!"

So when we ask for a nice, roasted fish, and it looks as if He's handed us a hissing, fanged viper-- He hasn't. What He gives us certainly won't always be what we desire; there are times when His will involves great pain. But in the end, we will never be rendered unable to whisper, "Thank you." Because He is good. Always.

The Beauty Contest: My plans vs. His plans

Second, we could never map out a more beautiful future for ourselves than His. I could spend years trying to concoct the most idyllic, detailed set of plans for a fairy-tale life, but they couldn't even begin to rival the magnificent story the Author has in mind. In fact, while I'm sure I'd be quite enamored with my castles in the sky, putting me in control of my life would undoubtedly result in a sorry mess. Who am I to deem myself wiser than my Maker?

"For your thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

I cannot tell what the complete, finished portrait will look like yet. He does. He sees the trials I'll go through, and the pain. But He also sees everything that I, short-sighted creature that I am, struggle to grasp. Out of ashes, beauty. Every road I walk through, used as a brush-stroke to magnify His name a little more, and conform me more into His Son's own image. I don't need to see the picture unveiled to know that it will be absolutely perfect. He is the artist, after all.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."

With the promise of Jeremiah 29:3 ringing in my ears, even spider-infested forests don't really sound quite that bad. The woman of Proverbs 31 "laughs at the days to come". I like that. Why should we tremble at the unknown, when the God we trust is so good?

Appreciating Blindness

Finding God's will is humbling and requires faith. Is it shameful to spend a season waiting on the Lord? Is that waiting season ever in vain?

There is an elderly woman I have heard of but never met. "Ellie" rises each morning and waits on her front porch for the arrival of her friend, another elderly woman. Together they sit while her friend reads aloud from the Holy Writ. At the end of the Bible passage, hands are extended and eyes are closed in prayer, as the ladies commit the day to doing the Lord's will. Ellie is blind.

Yesterday, a friend mentioned how she wishes to have a calling in her life, but she's still clueless what God wants. What can a girl do, except cast her talents out like bait? It's not much; in fact, it's a pretty helpless and pathetic state in which to exist. Waiting, waiting, fishing for a future; waiting for bait to be bitten and God to reveal His will through opening a door. My friend is blind too; not in the same physical sense as Ellie, but she feels like she's groping around in the dark.

Both Ellie and my friend are in an unglamorous situation. Neither is self-sufficient. God must be sought continually for another ration of rest and sustenance. Would anyone envy them?

A state of being like Laodicea's is generally thought more agreeable. A shining symbol of self-confidence, Laodicea was a church that could stand on its own two feet. God called the church to task for its stubborn independence: "For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked." (Rev. 3:17) How the rebuke must have smarted--and that from the Maker of the universe.

I think I share a lot in common with that place. Freethinking, I can whip up future plans like no other. (Some would re-term "freethinking" in this context as "folly.") Unlike Ellie and my friend, I have my life figured out. My future plans are in the bag. Determining for sure that those plans are truly for my best and the best for God's Kingdom is another matter entirely. I don't have that kind of discernment.

Obviously, there is something lacking in a Laodicea mentality. The key is not that God wants a to live without purpose. Without a clear plan, getting lost is easier than you think. My family proved this point a few years ago, as we circled Memphis for the fourth time, exiting toward the ramp we thought led to Texas, finding ourselves in Mississippi and wishing we'd never stepped foot in Tennessee in the first place. Phew. If that happened in the space of only a few hours, how much worse could happen traveling through life with no planned route or destination? It's a scary thought. Having some kind of plan is smart. Although a detailed daytimer to guide us to our 70th birthday is probably unnecessary, an idea of the skills God wants us to develop is helpful.

Yet before the life planning happens, is it wrong to have a season of deciding, where we try to discover God's will? Is it shameful to be compelled to wait in perfect simplicity--in blind trust--for God? It feels shameful. It's humiliating (and humbling.) Worse yet, it's frightening. I don't envy Ellie's blindness or my friend's. Their respective situations require faith. But I am confident, as they are, that waiting on the Lord is never in vain.
While Laodicea experienced true spiritual blindness due to pride, Ellie and my friend simply appear blind. In reality, their eyes are being opened to a deeper level of trust in Christ. They are resting in the fact that the Giver of Sight will one day show them a wider view. That doesn't sound like blindness to me.

Corrie ten Boom wrote, "Never fear to trust an unknown future to a known God." What is more, Christ said, "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden." (Matthew 5:14) Although these two people may feel purposeless and their waiting may seem futile, they may yet achieve a higher purpose: glorifying God by becoming radiant beacons of selfless trust. That's not so bad, is it?

Anti-Senioritis Prescription

Observe the average highschool graduating female. Her life is not a simple one. Twelve months ago, she was a carefree junior. Now with graduation looming on her horizon, she's trying to finish her studies and highschool commitments with the same amount of enthusiasm as when she started. Geometry, Government and Geography.... she tries to grin and bear it. On top of her studies, she's fighting to stay immune from senioritis.

Senioritis is one of those rampant diseases ignored by the World Health Organization. Victims' symptoms include apathy, lack of ambition or vision, and an acute desire for entertainment rather than hard work. The average highschool graduating female is prime for contracting this disease.

Then calculate the holiday season into the picture. The aftermath of Thanksgiving includes more than excessive tryptophan. Graduating females also must grapple with post-holiday stress caused by well-meaning questioners about her future: "Do you have any plans for college?" "Have you decided on a major?" "Are you going to get a job?" "Are you going to live at home?" "When are you going to start dating?" "Do you have a special someone?" This seventeen, eighteen or nineteen year old female is now expected to come up with answers to these life-altering questions.

What's a girl to do?

While we don't know exactly what questions you may be facing, here's some wisdom we've gleaned that we hope will help you out:



Decision-Making

Carole Mayhall, in her book, Come Walk With Me, is writing specifically to women who are pondering whether to work outside the home. However, her advice on decision-making can be applied to a plethora of situations:

"May I (gently) suggest that when a wife and mother--one who is serious about obeying God--asks, 'Should I work outside the home?' she is asking the wrong question. The first question a woman should ask is not, 'Do we need the money?' Neither is it, 'Can I pursue a career at the same time as being a homemaker?' nor, 'Will it be fulfilling and something I want to do?' Often if the answer is yes to these questions, she plunges ahead. Instead, she should ask, 'Is this God's will for my life?'
You may be thinking, but doesn't God lead through circumstances? Sometimes, but not always or primarily. God leads mainly through His Word (Psalm 119:105), through peace of heart (Philippians 4:6-7), and through the counsel of other people (Proverbs 15:22). If circumstances line up with the direction you get from these three primary channels, then they're an added bonus and may help you be assured of what God's will really is."

And what about our feelings? How much should we depend on our emotions to guide our choices? Nancy Leigh DeMoss wrote in Lies Women Believe,

"The Truth is that, due to our fallen condition, our feelings often have very little to do with reality. In many instances, feelings are simply not a reliable gauge of what is actually true. When we allow them to be tied to our circumstances--which are constantly changing--rather than the unchangeable realities of God and His Truth, our emotions are prone to fluctuate wildly... If we want to walk in freedom, we must realize that our emotions are not necessarily trustworthy and be willing to reject any feelings that are not consistent with the Truth."

What About My Dreams?

Everybody has dreams for the future. The world tells us to "dream big" and chase after what we want until it becomes ours. However, the danger with dreams is that they're often "me-centered;" they tend to revolve around me wanting to "become great" and not God's glory. Pride grows in dreams like mold on old cheese.
In response to dreams, think about C.J. Mahaney's thoughts on pride from is book, Humility:

"[Jesus said,] 'But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all.' (vv.43-44).
We always want to pay careful attention when that word must appears in Scripture. 'Must' points us to something that's required, something that's indispensable. 'You want to be great?' Jesus is saying. 'Well, here's what has to happen. What's required is that you become a servant to others; it means nothing less than becoming the slave of everyone.' .... A profound and historic reversal is taking place here--one that has to occur in each of our lives if we're to have any possibility of becoming truly great in God's eyes.... [We become truly great by] serving others for the glory of God."

God-honoring dreams for the future stem from a heart solely focused on serving others and spreading God's fame.

Have you received wisdom from godly counselors about decision-making, or have you found any Scripture passages to be particularly helpful in this area? Please share it with us!

Convicted In The Dark

Shakespeare, Galileo, Milton, Kepler, David; each wrote of the stars. Some in verse, some in scientific essays—all in wonder. However numerous their mention, have you noticed stars never grow cliché? Scientifically speaking, we know these orbs are only the gaseous dustballs of the universe with no potential to support human life, and yet staring at them sends us into a speechless stupor.

Lord Byron, a poet rarely caught without a quip, could not begin to describe them: “Ye stars! Which are the poetry of heaven! ….for ye are a beauty and a mystery, and create in us such love and reverence from afar.”

Unfortunately for me, my thoughts seldom reach as high as the heavens. My thoughts tend to stick to the solid, predictable and unoffending ground. What will I do after highschool? Do I pursue a degree? Do I take a job? Where? When? Is this right? Will God allow me to feel His Presence or must I trust blindly? Must I continue fumbling in the dark, groping for a light switch? How much longer?

But when the lights are off, the stars are easier to see. Galileo admitted, “I've loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.” Maybe that’s the wiser perspective.

Isaiah wanted us to adopt this view when he cried, “Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning?” Finger pointed to the sky, the wizened prophet must have shouted in half-zeal, half-reverence. “Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.” (Isaiah 40:21, 26)

When attempting to figure out my future, I used to feel stuck in the dark; but I’m now of the opinion that “in the dark” should no longer be a synonym for ignorance and confusion. Instead, it’s a doorway into clarity. In the absence of man-made lamps, which illuminate at my command, I’m powerless. I can’t trust myself. Reflection is all I have to do. It’s time to count the stars and laugh at my smallness; remembering that the God who leads constellations through infinity can guide me, too.

God Speaks Chinese

Never before had I felt so much like an infant. An announcement sounded over the airplane speakers, an unintelligible string of Chinese. I understood two words from the entire broadcast, and it was a discomforting reminder of how little of my surroundings I understood. If the sky was falling, I’d have no way of knowing.

I shifted in my seat as the rest of the passengers continued boarding the plane, fully conscious of the hundred eyes watching me. I could hardly blame them. Foreigners were rare in that part of China and tall Americans have a hard time blending in anywhere. Not only was I a clueless infant in this foreign country; I was also a freak.

The last time I boarded a Chinese domestic flight, there had been a delay and a problem with the airplane’s air conditioning. Several passengers had stood in their seats, waving their hands in frustration and engaging themselves in a energetic yelling contest with the flight attendant. It was chaos and anarchy. And worst of all, since I have little knowledge of the Chinese language, there was nothing I could do. I felt helpless.

I desperately wished to shrink to the size of an insect or even a bacterium. Could I ever feel comfortable in these alien surroundings? Could I depend on God to take care of every detail?

In Proverbs 30: 2-5, Agur mourned over his ignorance and vulnerability as well:

“‘I am the most ignorant of men;
I do not have a man's understanding.

I have not learned wisdom,
nor have I knowledge of the Holy One.

Who has gone up to heaven and come down?
Who has gathered up the wind in the hollow of His hands?
Who has wrapped up the waters in His cloak?
Who has established all the ends of the earth?
What is His name, and the name of His Son?
Tell me if you know!

‘Every word of God is flawless;
He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.”

God’s competence in controlling situations is a great deal more than our own; yet maybe you are like me, and still tremble at the thought of handing Him the reins. We gave Him our life, but we struggle to handle individual, daily situations alone.

One of my favorite authors and speakers, John Piper, wrote, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.” When we satisfy ourselves with the knowledge that He is in control, He is glorified. His strength is most visible when we have no chance to succeed on our own. When we are incapable, and feel like infants, we should rejoice at the opportunity to lean on Him and make His power known. Paul explained this in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

As I waited for take off, I heard a soft, familiar melody. Strangely out of place, it sounded like Heaven playing over the airplane speaker. The song was instrumental, but I knew the words from church:

Mercy, mercy
Goodness and kindness,
Love and forgiveness.
Mercy, mercy.
It’s been mercy all the way.

A comforting song in Communist China? Yes, God does speak Chinese.

Fear: Do or Die

"Imagine: Two people in a room, the first person, Bob, is bent on creating a famous quote. His friend, Frank, is trying to help.

Bob: “Ooh! What about this? You have nothing to fear, but fear itself.”

Frank: “But Bob! What about spiders? Because, you know, I really don’t like spiders, and I’m really afraid of them.”

Bob: “Alright. Then you have nothing to fear, but spiders…and fear itself.”

Frank: “But Bob! What about snakes? You know, there are some really poisonous snakes, and I really don’t like them, in fact, I’m downright scared of them.”

Bob: “Ok. Then you have nothing to fear but, spiders, snakes…and fear itself.”

*Five hours later*

Bob: “So what you’re telling me, is that there is nothing to fear but, spiders, snakes, the dark, clowns, hippopotamus’, peanut butter, books, string, trees, lighthouses, fish?…and fear itself!”

Frank: “But Bob! What about things like, rejection, failure, pain, disappointment?”

[HT to Adam Hardy for the intro idea. This was part of his Original Oratory for NCFCA competition this past year.]

Someone asked me recently, “What would you attempt to do if you did not fear failure?” I felt as though I had been hit over the head with a baseball bat. The question made me stop and think. Think hard. If I were to compile a list of every opportunity to expand my knowledge and experience, which I have rejected due to my fear of failure, the size of my list would rival Webster’s Dictionary. The times in which I have turned down the chance to offer an encouraging word to a hurting person– when I shirked from giving a gentle rebuke to a friend when one was needed, when I did not share the Gospel for fear of ridicule, or when I ignored the opportunity to serve because it would remove me from my comfort zone–are staggeringly abundant."

Read the rest of this co-post by Marshall Sherman and I, at Advancing His Kingdom.

Posted by Hannah

Wait

by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said,"Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

Waiting for the Wedding

One day, when I was a little girl, I was playing pretend "school" with two girls who lived down the street from me. The girl who played "teacher" handed each of her "students" a slip of paper which she called our "attention span." At one point during the game, much to the dismay of the little teacher, I lost my paper. I ran home, greatly distressed, and announced to my mother that I had "lost my attention span" and did not know where to find it.

While I look back and laugh at my childish ignorance, times have not changed much. I still struggle with losing my real attention span in a much more serious matter; I struggle with keeping my attention on God. Anything and everything can distract my focus from God if I give too much attention to it.

Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour. - Matthew 25:13

I have been reading Leslie Ludy's book, Authentic Beauty. First and foremost, I recommend this book to every young lady. I would, however, advise mothers to look over before letting their younger daughters read this because there are some topics that Leslie covers that are a bit descriptive.

As I read this book, the way Leslie describes what our relationship with Jesus struck me as odd. Leslie uses the term "Prince" for God. When I think of a prince, I think of Prince Charming of the fairytales. He rides in on a white horses and gallantly rescues the damsel in distress from an evil foe. I wondered How can this possibly be a picture of our relationship with God? The whole idea sounded rather irreverent, but now I see Leslie's point.

When a person is in love, they think constantly of their beloved (or so other people tell me.) They count the minutes until they can see their beloved again. Is our love for Christ to be very different from this? Is He not supposed to be on our minds, in our thoughts, and His law written upon our very hearts? 1 Corinthians 7:34 says that "An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit." The Lord has declared His intentions toward us in return in Hosea 2:16-20,

"In that day, declares the LORD, you will call me my husband; you will no longer call me my master. I will remove the names of the Baals from her lips; no longer will their names be invoked...I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD."

Imagine that you are engaged to be married. You have met and fallen in love with the one who God has planned you for all along. You can hardly wait for the wedding day, but you have one problem. Your groom promised to bring the entire wedding party to your doorstep, but following old Jewish tradition, has refused to tell you the wedding date. It is a secret possessed only by him and his father. Every morning you wake up and question yourself, 'Is this the day of my marriage?' Each day you must prepare as though the wedding were just about to take place.

This may seem like a surreal situation, but it was reality for Jewish women during the time of Christ. After the initial betrothal, about twelve months would pass. Toward the end of the twelve months or soon after, the groom would arrive at the bride's home with the wedding party and the marriage ceremony could begin. The bride was never sure of the exact time that her husband-to-be was coming; she only knew that it was soon.

Yet this is also reality for us as followers of Christ. We are that bride. Our hearts should be completely turned toward our Savior that He is who we wake up thinking about and that our days are dedicated to the hope of His return.

How are you doing on this?

Let's Talk (About Trust and Other Things)

In the previous "Let's Talk" post, "Anonymous" made an interesting comment regarding preparing to be a worker at home:

"I guess it would be smart to do that but who knows if I'll ever get married? What if God doesn't bring the right [sic] person for me, would planning for being a homemaker be a waste of my time? "

It is possible that any and everyone who hopes to get married someday has doubted at one time or another if Mr. or Ms. Right is really out there. I've wondered that. Probably you have, too. We fear our hopes being disappointed. What could be worse than planning on marriage and never finding "the one"? Sometimes we may just want to say, "God, show me this person, please, so that I can really know he is there and that this waiting for him will be worthwhile."

But if God shows us beforehand how He will plan our days, then where would be the growth? He does not give us His plans for the future because He wants us to learn to trust in Him; whatever happens, He wants us to lean on Him. I can't preach on this (or anything for that matter.) I can't speak on this as someone who has her hope completely, unshakably in Christ all the time. But I can say as someone who has struggled and still struggles with giving everything to God, that once we do surrender our fears to Him, something beautiful grows in the place of our fears:

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

(1 Peter 2:3-4) In Girl Talk by Nicole Whitacre and Carolyn Mahaney, some good insight is offered concerning this verse. It is pointed out that a 'gentle and quiet spirit' is referring to trust in God. If the spirit is trusting God and resting upon His faithfulness, then it is beautiful in God's eyes. That is the beauty that God wants us to nurture, so that whatever happens in life, we will still be depending on Him. He may choose not to provide us with a spouse. He may call us to a single life of being devoted to Him. Yet whatever it is, we can know that what He chooses is best, and that He will not leave us to face our struggles alone.

Now, "Anonymous" does pose another interesting question: Is it worthwhile to pursue learning to be a homemaker when you believe that it is possible that you will remain single for a long time, or perhaps for the rest of your life? Carolyn McCulley is a single Christian woman whose insight I respect because she seems to base her views on the Bible. In a recent post on her blog she wrote,

"I'm a big proponent of single women cultivating a love for the home. Not only does this help balance the over-emphasis on the public sphere of life (a job is not everything that defines us), having a heart for the home means we will invest in the private sphere in terms of skills, time, and money--and thus be prepared to offer hospitality to both bless God's people and to reach out to others. "

Ms. McCulley's point was reiterated by Lydia T.'s comment, which states:

"Learning how to be a homemaker is more than preparing for the future. It is a way to minister to your family. Cultivating relationships is not only done through spending time with someone, it is also done by serving--your family and your friends through hospitality. By sharing some of the responsibility in your household, you are opening up more opportunities through which your whole family can minister. By working together, more can be accomplished as a whole than if each person is only looking out for himself.

Keeping home is education in and of itself! Not that learning physics and Latin is wrong, but neither requires the exclusion of the other. This would be where time management comes into play."